Friday, January 23, 2009

fueledbyramen

0;3/08/2007 - 11:05 AM ESTwhy am i still awake? "Up the stairs to the apartmentShe is balled up on the couchHer mom and dad went down to CharlotteThey're not home to find us outAnd we driveNow that I have found someoneI'm feeling more aloneThan I ever have beforeShe's a brick and I'm drowning slowlyOff the coast and I'm headed nowhere"i realized everyone in this world is a fucking fake.including me.the real lyrics to the timberland song we wrote with him:"Wipe that smile off your fucking face To be despised To be loved To be dreamt of To be sought I'm the inside of "I don't care" Right in the middle I'm right in the middle Be my unholy My one and my lonely I wear scarves and hoods cause it's the only poker face that I've got left And everything I love about you is a mess Smash the mirror and break the palm reader's hands I want to be better than I am"
- xo
3/03/2007 - 12:33 PM ESTtheyd call you a classic.and the classics never go out of style baby.hes doing hot rails in the bathroom.i dont even really know what that means,except it has nothing to do with the temp. of transit.youre a pretty face with an old soul.im always awake when you are sleeping.do you know how that makes me feel?i want a revelation like the brother in little miss sunshine.one where it just all of a sudden makes sense.
- xo
2/17/2007 - 10:54 PM EST"you must not know bout me, you must not know bout me..."
- xo
2/16/2007 - 3:57 AM ESTcheck out me running my stupid little mouth about music supervising "the hills" on mtv over here: http://www.ifilm.com/profile/wiredset/video/2822121
- xo
1/25/2007 - 9:19 PM ESTyou make me weak in the knees.life as of late: "usually i like to get kissed before i feel fucked".
- xo
1/23/2007 - 11:45 PM ESTi make my guesses against star that are probably just burned out.fistfight the keyboard when i think of how i turned out.
- xo
1/10/2007 - 6:22 AM ESTthere is one person on this planet that i would love to lay on a curb with and count on the stars. its too bad you are asleep.
- xo
1/8/2007 - 2:03 AM EST
i wish i was as invisible as you make me feel.
- xo
1/2/2007 - 6:19 AM EST
tiny hope armies fight inside my heart just outside of the greenzone of my head.you cant imagine the things i would do for you.
- xo
12/20/2006 - 5:35 AM EST
to only you:there was this girl- a doll. hanging and dancing on strings. black hair and smiling. she lived just off of a town called naivety... some place i have driven through from time to time. and i never had an idea. cut the strings so we could run down the street under trees and roll in the grass. never meant for it to become what it did in so many different ways. never meant to always leave the driveway headed one direction and never knew what waited when i returned. only that her eyes were the lights in the windows that i pulled up to in the snow. slipping off the ends of icy roads at nights racing home through the night no matter what. and the miles got father and farther in between. and i couldnt ever figure myself out to save a thing. but now i cut those strings and she is forever dancing or lying or waiting in the lit windows for vans and buses that came less and less. and i wrote the harshest words and she wrote the harshest words. she turned from a doll into a girl and i from a boy into a monster and back into a boy now and again. eyes always red and puffy. pride always on the line. things were much simpler when she was on strings for her i think. things were much simpler when the van only went so far. before i had to press a picture of her and paste it on dashes and inside of bunks everywhere. i cant explain how i got here. it doesnt make any sense. she could follow the articles and videos or my pieced together stories. or a dog. or a dream. or words that make half sense sent in the middle of the night. and even when im telling the truth it doesnt matter cause the phone is always dead. and i am always 30,000 feet in the air flying somewhere. but i keep the warmest memories close to my heart even when im at payphones and want to cut my insides out,, dry them up and mail them to her. "im sorry" doesnt matter anymore. the words have no meaning. im sorry i cut the strings and ran away. now when i come to look for her i dont know where to begin. its hard to not say "its all my fault" but it goes through my head over and over so i cant sleep with out the AMBIENce of my bed and the puppy. bane songs. boomerangs. badnews. arkansas. goodbye love i didnt know you well or maybe too well.
- xo
12/19/2006 - 1:49 AM EST
being in new york brings back strange memories of fall. i am really excited for everyone to see the new video tommorrow. though i am completely bummed out to see people selling tickets for ridiculous amounts of money for the friends or enemies tour. the whole point of this tour was for us to play some small rooms with our dedicated fans. i dont really think there is anything we can do legally about people who are taking advantage of this. the only thing i can think of is that we will go around venues before the show and try to give out a few tickets for free (i doubt we will have many extra as most have sold out). dont feed into this. we will keep playing smaller shows and secret ones- as well as a bigger spring tour. i promise you will get a chance to see us. we are going to go everywhere. please dont let these vultures get you down.
- xo
12/16/2006 - 2:57 AM EST
Have heart, willing to travel.
- xo
12/12/2006 - 5:31 AM EST
i cant explain the feeling that has been exactly the same since the first moment you bobbed your head, had your spit shoot out of your mouth when singing along, or been crush on the railing on the front of the stage.everything else aside. the flashes, the numbers, everything- i hope i am judged and remembered only by how you have felt and sung along.it is a testament to who i wish i was and am always striving to become. because as much as we saved you- you have saved me.the shows feel the same. i was worried. but a smile or a wink reminds me that we are still part of the same machine that noone else understands.sorry if this is corny but these were the thoughts going through my head as i iced my back today after the show. if i fall apart, if we didnt sell a single record- this was still the best adventure story ever written. and i am endlessly grateful for that. ill now go back to being a douchebag.i think youre gonna like the new video.... let us know if youre hearing arms race on the radio by you.... just putting the final touhces on the record- yeah we know its like shopping for presents on xmas eve. but oh well. we dont want to let anyone down, not ourselves or you.xo.sleep fast, dream hard.ps i miss my dog.
- xo
12/8/2006 - 7:04 AM EST
minus : bill and teds excellent adventure was almost halfway done when i got home. and i wasted my night thinking of someone who will never understand me.minus/plus:i cut off my hair and jumped through a sheet of glass for our new video. plus: when napoleon eats the huge banana split in bill and teds: ziggy piggy ziggy piggy. i got an igloo dog house and fake snow for hem to play in. way more fun than whatever else i oculd have been doing. going to see panic tommorrow.
- xo
12/4/2006 - 3:42 AM EST
i want to fall in love with someone who can speak parseltongue.
- xo
11/27/2006 - 3:43 AM EST
so having returned from the movie "the fountain" i feel as though my life has been turned on it's head. like youve been thinking all of this time but the reserve light just came on and there are about 20 miles to empty. i hate running into people i used to know- who tell me "congratulations" or how they always knew whatever. i am terrible at small talk. i simply have not been designed to do it. i know about 3/4 of the time it is a completely genuine thought from them- but i dont know how to respond ever. i lower my eyes to the ground and fish for a thought that will take us far from this line of questioning. they say it as if this had all been a plan- like i couldnt be in the gutter 12 months from now just as easily- and be just as happy with the right friends and right loves and maybe some books. its so much more of a relief to hear someone make fun of this or me- to laugh and tear me down. i can brush it off easier. i dont have to make small talk. and when someone walks up who has been honestly changed or moved by the music and words- i dont even need to be told anything. you can see it in your eyes. i am left speechless, usually looking awkward for a second followed by a meager thank you. i think many fail to realize that i feel just as changed, moved, saved and real by the path of this band. i feel a part of this too. i count down the days until we tour again too. and finally- it is only on the stage when i feel at home. i hate looking at the setlist and seeing the songs running out. i hate days off. i hate breaks. i only look forward to making new albums because it means i will get to play more shows. i love walking into dusty rooms where you can feel the electricity of what will happen that night. or the condensation on the floor afterwards from what just transpired. you cant capture this in a photograph, song, movie, video or review. they all fall short. i love walking into the dark frigid air and seeing those few lifers hanging on the railing- and always do my best to make sure they get to at least exchange some words. i miss this so goddamned much right now.it feels like everyone is singing heartache. i dont want to be a disposable band. i dont want to be just a poster on the wall. i know everyone wants another "sugar" or "dance, dance" out of us. but i hope the new songs will truly help you take apart your despair or at least give you a place to hide out from it in. i hope it brings you some sense of peace or rest. or maybe that when you walk down the stairs into the basement of yourself that you can dust off old ideas of who you are and know that the clouds part from time to time.i know this is a bit much. this is what i wrote upon leaving the movie. i cant wait for you to hear the new songs. i cant wait to get back and play them for you- to sing them WITH you.thank you for making me try to become a better person. truly.so on this journal i want to try and include something from the label side of things. here's my little buddy brendon from Panic talking about how we used to make Man Soup/friendsthatbathetogetherstaytogether (though i believe nfg may have invented man stew a bit earlier, u sksinny jerks could only make soup): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je1Tlgy8P_E&mode=related&search=
- xo
11/24/2006 - 4:35 PM EST
so i guess being that we are in the fueledbyramen journal- i should write about some of the happenings of FBR/DECAYdance bands.On my way home to chicago for the holidays I was sitting on the airplane getting ready to fake sleep so i wouldnt have to speak to anyone and who walks on and sits next to me? Mike Cardin from the Academy. So i spent the next 5 hours hanging with him and the rest of the Academy boys on the flight home. completely accidentally. Their new record is sure to charm the pants off of you- total brain party.Got in and made my way to the Panic! at the disco show at the UIC pavillion. Needless to say i was floored by the show. there was a fucking circus on stage. Some good hangs and then made my way home. Had Brendon and Ryan over for Wentz family Thanksgiving and went and watched the new james bond movie.RIght now i am listening to new lifetime songs. they are completely mindblowing. This is the band that totally shaped Fall Out Boy and the sound of Take this to your grave.Over at Decaydance we are looking for some new bands. if you got what it takes- get some music in our hands.dont believe everything you read. the only people i have time to date are Hemingway and Infinity On High- otherwise its just NOT the truth.oh yeah and this was a dream come true: http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1562674_4_0_,00.htmlhave a good long weekend. forget about your problems for a bit.
- xo
11/18/2006 - 7:30 AM EST
im just a painter drawing a blank.but i could learn to miss you. i could learn to pity fools- because i am the biggest one and i always feel sorry for myself. i could learn to read your mind but reading in the dark has wrecked my sight.
- xo
11/12/2006 - 9:25 PM EST
you call me a bad tipper of the cradle.but im tired yawns for fawns on hunters lawns.we're the hasbeens of husbands- sharpening the knives of young wives.take two years and call me when youre better...take teardrops of mine, find yourself wetter.were so miserable and stunning,lovesongs so genuinely cunning.
- xo
10/23/2006 - 1:51 AM EST
"Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me. I see paintings or drawings in the poorest cottages, in the dirtiest corners. And my mind is driven towards these things with an irresistible momentum." vincent van gogh in a letter to his brother.when i read this book of his letters i see "sunflowers" completely differently. though the painter is never the painting and vice versa- the same as the song. it is humbling. as i try to pick apart another as i feel the same is done over and over and over and over. as though i could ever figure a motive...etc. sometimes its good to just get out of your own head once in awhile....spitting on lottery tickets and breaking the hands of palm readers...currently trying to get over myself,but i never really was one to take the high road. so its proving to be quite the challenge.
- xo
10/2/2006 - 5:33 AM EST
the strange familiarity.what would a fisherman do without fish?what would the depressed do without depression?the movie "closer" is far more true to how things are then anything i have ever written.i was designed to break your heart. my only real crime is my obsession with documenting it.and maybe the way i still love you after the flash on the camera cools off."lying is the currency of the world"
- xo
9/28/2006 - 7:02 AM EST
clan fall line will be available for order tommorrow. to explain some things- the low end/t-shirt stuff will be available under "fancy kids" - gutter luxury, prints and other things. most of the other items will be extremely limited and detailed (down to zippers and stitching)- all high end items will be cut and made to our own patterns, no longer using american apparel- we understand some of it will probably be your thing and some wont. thats okay. this is the inside of our brains, nothing more.in a mediocre world sometimes its ok to feel brilliant. we want to be whats wrapped around you when that light bulb goes off above your head. yawn, i should go to sleep soon. just making sure some last minute stuff is working...
- xo
9/18/2006 - 2:13 AM EST
as this album unfolds i have begun to realize that it is a nocturnal record. so much different than the way the others gave a windows down summer sun/nostalgia vibe- i guess maybe thats only my own head but this one feels moonlit. the way things are different as they pass in the dark. the way we can be ourselves after dark. love, the stagecoach always turns back into a pumpkin. sometimes love is about getting even. but sometimes it is about how you are the sun and nothing can shine quite as bright as you. nothing is the same at 6 am. somehow the things we say mean more in corners of dancefloors and we focus on love below the waist and outside of the head. "dont you want to get better"- i just dont want you to worry. "dont you want to get better" - tonight i do. the way they say "youre committing slow suicide" when someone lights up or cuts loose. but arent we all. everything we do just shortens our life, every breath is one less. but its what makes everything so treasured. in my head. it aint a funeral babe, i just want the headline to die. recovery is the new drug. in your average week my head lays on so many different pillows. this windowshopped life has me dreaming of a reset button. daylight is your enemy. im in love with lovers who dont love me except under the pale light of the moon. im sleeping in my driveway tonight dreaming of sleeping in snow or gravel or whatever is next to you.... thank god, disappointment has a short shelf life. i want to buy (uni)som(e) sleep but over the counter doesnt cut it whether it be hearts or capsules. i love you in a holding back your hair kind of way. wreck it all, one heart at a time. sleepovers are as good at they were 10 years ago. my dog is proof of puppy love. hollywood is a good story. but best friends are better.sing into a polygraph. its not all its cracked up to be. talking isnt good for anything ever. lets practice our moves until the sun comes up.
- xo
9/16/2006 - 2:02 AM EST
so here they are. tried my best to answer ones that were real and hadnt been heard about before.... now i am gonna watch back to the future and write songs. stay in love, fall in touch. wait around. its gonna get better:peter, will i ever find someone that understands me? honestly i feel so alone and out of place here.and your words changed me. thank you so much.-megancyanidedependentI don’t think I really qualify to answer a question like this, though I probably should because it is the first one. I guess the answer is who knows. One second your head is stuck on just hiding out in your bed in the dark and the next it is tripping its way behind someone that makes you want to chase them around the world. At least for me. I guess the truth is there are other heads and hearts out there pumping and crashing through the same mystery alone too.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:07pm)patrick, how are you?_india_Registered userPatrick just finished singing. His voice is a bit tired. He has this amazing sweatshirt on that’s super florescent. He says "im ok yeah duh, great depending on who’s asking". posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:07pm)Peter will you be the ninja king? lyrical_liesxx0Registered userI feel like the ninja/robot thing is kind of losing its charm. Maybe if there was a ninja movie with Orlando bloom in it- it could kiss some new life into the joke. Sexy new life.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:08pm)Pete, why do guys screw around with girls and pick on them and stuff, then turn around and ask another girl out? I swear it's maddening. To you guys have this hard of a time figuring US out?!?BookbraceRegistered user980 postslike they said in karate kid one "what goes around comes around". I dunno. I think its kind of mutual misunderstanding. Its more of a human problem than one of the sexes in my opinion.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:08pm)my friend kissed my boyfriend..and wont admit it but he admitted he did.advice? o yea and hiTatersAreCoolRegistered user35564 poststhat’s probably something you can only figure out yourself. Ive been in the same situation before on all sides. None of them are comfortable. You have to follow your heart. I personally always backed my friends at the end of the day. But there is something amazing about honesty and maybe that is where your heart is driving you. at the end of the day you have to be okay on your own without either as well, even when that seems impossible.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:08pm)what is the accomplishment that you are most proud of? and or What would you say if 10 yrs ago some one told you that you would be where you are today?liyah22Registered user4013 postsI don’t really think about success or accomplishments too often. I guess just being around. Letting myself move past who I used to be- because that person was continually unhappy. Or at least trying to get to that point and not feel like im "changing for the worse" just because im letting myself feel ok. 10 years ago I didn’t listen to anything anyone said ever for the most part.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:10pm)how come you were so mean at the clan show. hans77o7Registered user7916 postsI didn’t mean to be. I think I was upset at the way some press was affecting my life at the time. For the most part I was just confused about where I was and who a lot of the people were. In awe of Russell simmons hanging, missing hearts.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:10pm)how do you see yourself, pete?JOEMUTHERFUCKINGTROHLOVERegistered user17890 postssunk, loved but not liked, dreamt of but never woken up to, too lucky to ever speak about the black clouds over my head- besides I need the shower they are going to bring, ordinary. In love.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:10pm)posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:10pm)pete,do you think we are all hoping for other people to fail?sarahdanielle_8877Registered userI think envy gets the best of all of us at times. Its depressing to think about. Someone elses success does not mean your failure.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:11pm)whats your favorite line in waynes world?STUMPITHARDERohRegistered user1747 postsif he was a flavor of icecream, hed be prailines and dick…. Im not sure if I remembered that quite right. its been awhile.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:11pm)pete, my dad hits me.. a lot. i really wish he didnt but theirs nothing i can do. he says that im a piece of shit, and then he spits on me. im nothing compared to him, and im just meant to be tossed around in the world because im nothing but scum. and its kind of true.i dont know what to do at all. only my close friends know and they dont even know the half of it themselves. its so much more to it than that.what do i do?fobcatlover96Registered user6801 postsyou NEED to speak to someone at your school or in your family. This is not something that is ok. And its not true. No matter how "scummy" you look or act. It is not ok. This is something beyond anything I could ever answer. There are no other explanations please get in contact with someone. You don’t deserve that.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:11pm)P33tard do you ever get mad when we joke around with you and stuff.Scene_Not_HeardRegistered user4303 postsim guessing I don’t even see half of it. im definitely able to laugh at myself. Im a pretty awkward guy. Sometimes it bums me out when my friends are brought into it.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:11pm)Peteee, what's your current addiction? Mine is Goldfish(the food not the actual fish)Hell0o0Registered user5298 postshemingway, koolaid jammers, patricks guitar solos, autumn, her.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:12pm)I posted this in the other thread but just incase you don't look at the other thread I'll ask them again.Do you believe in reincarnation?Not in a literal way.What do you really think of MTV?punchyafaceXcoreRegistered user18522 postshonestly its where I first saw what bands looked like when I was too young to go to concerts. Thriller and November rain shaped how I view music videos and headbangers ball is where I spent my Saturdaynights at age 14. people always talk about "mtv" ruining bands. There are so many things that bands can use to "ruin" themselves or "change". Mtv is a vehicle and they can be very supportive. For instance they played a six minute video of ours and that was amazing. Both mtv and fuse have been super supportive of our band and producers and cameramen always remember us and are really sweet. And that’s the honest answer.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:12pm)Why did your world explode last night? Its because of Patrick's sweet pipes, isn't it?aMyGcFOBRegistered user1131 postsbecause I was listening to the demo of that song and thinking about the kids that used to sing along to it. like that feels so long ago. Its strange to think that weve got fans that will have stuck with us from then until now. And how much you change as people over that time. I dunno. It was nostalgia I think.peter, how are you doing? honestly?i feel like you've been sheltering yourself away from us due to all the crazy rumors going on and i'm not wondering how you because i want to find out the truth to these rumors...im wondering how you are and how your doing?..i know im not in the first 20, but i really am curious.junkupshowupRegistered user24134 postssometimes I think I need to learn to step back and take a breath. I feel overexposed. Im one of those people whos answer to that question can change on the minute. Right now ok. There have been sweeping changes across my head and heart lately which I think is really good but can be stressful. I have the easiest and best job in the world so there is not too much to complain about on that front. I am listening to jeff buckley singing hallelujah and hoping for the best. my heart is swooning and that is all that matters.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:14pm)Where is this generations Beatles, Queen, GnR, or Rolling Stones?PumaPurrfectRegistered user1838 postswho knows? Im not sure that there will ever be another beatles again. I feel like the scope of pop music has changed too much. But you never know. You might be standing with 12 people watching this generations rolling stones. I don’t know. But we all listen to them sometimes and years from now we will be able to say we did.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:14pm)posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:15pm)What kind of advice would you give aspiring musicians and singers? Besides being in the right place at the right time and all.panic123fob123Registered user3596 posts"its tough times for dreamers". I have friends who are the best writers and musicians in the world in my opinion who noone may ever hear from- im not really in the position to give any advice- I have surrounded myself with my best friends who are beyond talented at what they do and that was probably the best thing I could have ever done. All I ever wanted out of this was an adventure and maybe to make it to next year.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:15pm)when is fall out boy coming to australia?Hell0o0Registered user5298 postswe need to get there this year I think. Will you show us around?posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:17pm)are you sad the crocodile hunter died????i am Theycallmeerinx3Registered user9240 postsim sad for the little boy.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:17pm)i'm not sure which one thread came first,so im posting it in both threads.How do you feel when people call you guys sellouts?Does it hurt, or do you just let it kinda roll off?XlastXchancesXRegistered user8372 postswell the only opinions I have ever really cared about are our fans so I do take it to heart. But usually I try to explain the situation and be pretty see through about our intentions- we are doing our best. sometimes we screw up. Were pretty much ordinary kids which is what is so funny about it all. but I think most of our diehard fans have stood by us and know what were doing and where we are going. noone would even know about us if it wasn’t for you anyway…posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:19pm)I'm gonna ask this in here too just in case! Do you ever have time to listen to old bands, cause you seem to always be listening to something new? Do you remember Split Lip, Falling Forward, and/ or Elliott?GrandTheftPatrickRegistered user5843 postsI love split lip, elliot "cathedrals" is insane and one of my favorite bands of all time is endpoint.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:19pm)are you ever offended by the things we say on here?_xRhetoric_LovexRegistered user3551 postssure. Are you ever offended by things I say in interviews? Its ok. We can bicker, we know eachother well enough.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:19pm)aw fuck... too many questions. oh i'll ask anyway. i'm 15 and i got into the clan fashion show. i was the girl that waved at you. my mom was there and she said you looked like you felt like you were in a situation you didnt belong in. like the kind of thing where you walk into a room and you feel like you totally dont belong. is she right? and there was a kid outside that looked like a younger version of you...it was freaky.xxits_something_secretxxRegistered user420 postshaha. I always feel like I am in situations I don’t belong in. your mom has a keen eye or is a good guesser.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:20pm)I know this will not be answered but I want to ask anyway...Well I was just wondering how the guitar parts are coming on the new record, I just listened to FUCT and couldn't help but wonder how Patrick makes all the sounds come together so well.discordANDchaosRegistered user908 postsI wish I could say. The kid was just made different than 99 percent of the world. His brain works on music. There are definitely some different tones but I think it will be something that you will appreciate.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:20pm)Do you ever think of Patrick as the savior of the world? Sort of like, the guy who will change almost everything? If you can think of someone else, who is it?falloutblairRegistered user13179 postshaha. I dunno if I ever think about anyone as the savior of the world. It seems like a sinking ship to me most of the time so Id hate to have to figure out who the captain is. I think in some ways Patrick saves me on a daily basis. Whether its just a joke or him talking me out of doing something stupid. Or just being himself.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:21pm)i think pete should do "boardie of the month"lyntastic33Registered userI will look into this one. I kinda like the idea.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:25pm)Hey Pete! Do you guys still have a name for the new Cd and when its coming out??JavaChipRegistered userThere is a name kicking around but we haven’t finalized it. I think itll be out end of January or February. Love songs. Get ready.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:09pm)pete i can do your grrr face!!wait that wasnt a question. STUMPITHARDERohRegistered user1748 postsyeah I know we’re over it. I am too. I can only make like three faces, but I hate the smile the most for some reason- so that one is my default. I feel weird smiling in pictures.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:09pm)i am sick today. should i have gone to school and not ruined my perfect attendance record? oh well. it ruined anywayz.Flip_Me_OverRegistered user4191 postsI always call in sick or go in late. It gives me extra time to try and figure myself out. posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:09pm)what is the accomplishment that you are most proud of? and or What would you say if 10 yrs ago some one told you that you would be where you are today? Vanilla icing or chocolate icing?xclandestinex2Registered user7789 postsred velvet cupcakes from sprinkles. (I think on the east coast magnolia has the same thing).posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:10pm)do you like us boardies? and haiiz petahh.ThunderrrKatRegistered user2345 postshaha. Ofcourse.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:10pm)peter, the unswept room or the sun also rises?which book do u like more?xclandestinex2Registered user7789 postsI guess sun also rises. I am more partial to green hills because it seems more autobiographic.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (9:11pm)what kind of cartoon bandaids are your favorite?fall_out_dorkRegistered user805 postsI don’t know. I haven’t gotten bandaids since I was little. Now I get stitches or super glue. Or just Neosporin.If you could change one thing in your life what would it be and why??Do you think youll ever go back to college to finish up the last semester??Well hope the night is treating you well and good luck working on the record. Much Love Jenemily_xxRegistered user1622 postsI think I would take things slower. Im not sure I would do this all over again. It has been amazing and I never would have met certain people or seen certain places but who knows? I would avoid some flashes. I think I would have just lived more and worried less. Id trade attention for comfort any day of the week. I definitely want to go back to college. I think about it everday.posted Fri, Sep 15, 2006 (11:34pm)only not really.theres alot of things i want to say .are you a lurker?i bet .what does 7 minutes in heaven (atavan halen) really mean?who has influenced the most .. and still is to this day ?is ATLANTIC CANADA in the futurefor god sakes noone comes here who am i kidding i live in newfoundland ever hear of it?hows patrick , andy and joe? how " different " is the new album?how are you .. really?Haha "are you a lurker?" I lurk on everything . I watch everyone from couples cluthing eachothers hands in a sea of people at the coffee bean, to my puppy digging in the backyard, to internet gossip. Its irresistible. Though often I skip over things about myself- because I think if I read it id hate me too. 7 minutes in heaven is about some kid from some town that just doesn’t count. I am influenced by writers everywhere, ive gotten the chance to work with one of my greatest influences on our new record. Pretty amazing. Patrick, andy and joe are all doing pretty well I think. I didn’t ask them but I haven’t heard otherwise. I don’t know what to say about the new record. Because it is so different to me but I think that if I was just listening to the songs id say they were just fall out boy.
- xo
8/19/2006 - 8:23 AM EST
comfort can come from the strangest places. while you are dying waiting on a phonecall.i had one of the best conversations ive had in my entire life tonight.the moon was a sliver and over l.a. it looked fake.everything is really all about the follow through, from swinging in baseball to bestfriends.
- xo
8/16/2006 - 8:35 PM EST
tokyo, japan 2i am put at ease somewhat by the inevitablity of strange and dark days. not light but the opposite, it is inevitable. this hotel room overlooks a city that i do not understand when usually i am overlooking cities that do not understand me. i dont have any "start over" left inside of me. i wish anyone would understand. all roads lead to longing. the neon signs never turn off here. there are oceans inside of me.Saturday, August 12, 2006tokyo, japanits strange the things that inform your writing versus the things that do not. its almost as though your words are shaped more by the things you do not say than the things that you do. there are many thoughts that i am scared to write down for many reasons. "the cancer of time is eating us away. our heroes have killed themselves, or are killing themselves. the hero then, is not time, but timelessness...." henry miller. hung up on three times on a bad connection across the pacific ocean. i rock myself back and forth, this is not happening. people walk by. only eyes and smiles. "yeah im doing good". liar. bullet train from osaka to tokyo. probably should have been the time of my life. i have dreamt of space shuttles and bullet trains since i was a little boy. but it is not. it is a terrible fate to be given up on and only more terrible to give up on someone. the world is going by too fast out the window. it is impossible to even discern if there is a world out there because it is so dark and so fast. but i can only assume that the world did not disappear on me, though i couldnt blame it if it had. i talk to our translator on the ride. i tell her of my life back home, only i am not too sure what my life back home is anymore. i think she takes pity on me and tells me of her great loves and growing up in japan. but i cant think of anything else. my head fades into the violet seat. i push my head to dream of other times but i cant fall asleep. it is pitch black outside but dawn in my insides. when we arrive in tokyo i eat some green tea ice cream, it has a calming affect on me if only for minutes. i then walk around the city until 3am in hopes of getting lost or mugged. no such luck. woke up again today. i believe i must have a disorder of some kind- or else why would i care about things so but act so carelessly. nevermind anything.Friday, August 11, 2006osaka, japanI am awake before the sun is. the sky looks bruised at this hour. at five am I leave the hotel and strike out, not like in baseball but more in the sense of adventure. spent hours trying to call across this ocean before getting through. though i never seem to say what i mean. i wish for once i would. Floor 20 in this hotel is up in the fog of Osaka. It takes me twenty to thirty minutes just to figure out how to get outside. To get to the shop level there is a "park" to walk through- only the sign on the gate says "garden hours 10am to 6pm"- funny it’s the only thing in English I have seen all day. I decide to hop it thinking of the possibility of being thrown in jail or ticketed for something so minor here. But as I do only the sprinklers click on,. The air smells different here, not cleaner or scented, just different. Think of how I would love to spend the day just writing. I want to catalog everything. I want to explore every inch. I want to write myself a letter from the future when all is well and just give myself some kind of comfort. I go on a walk with henry miller in hand. He feels light in my fingers but heavy in my head if that makes any sense at all. my eyes are bleary.not sure if that’s due to the lack of sleep or the way I feel like a baby born into a brand new world. It is humid out, my thoughts stick together. As I walk down the streets there are no faces that look the same as mine. though the sight of me doesn’t seem to shock anyone- as though their eyes have become calloused by countless tourists and hours of music television. I skip the traditional places and end up at an American resturaunt. I am a creature of comfort if nothing else. Though this seems as though it could be the new paris- trade the cafes for noodle shops. The language barrier here is unimaginable, I cant even kind of mispronounce a word. It took me an hour to get coffee. dear expatriates, Lets be strangers. Lets give up what we know- not to have it taken away but in the sense lets abandon it. there are ashtrays everywhere here but no one is ever smoking. Crossing the international date line can drive you to madness. And there is only one refuge from it- countless others have suggested it. a place called arcadia. Deep inside mountains, hidden in our minds. We can meet. We can write. We can love. I sit at the gates and wait for you. it is lush and green and empty. It is yawning wide, its great teeth ready to swallow us inside- but not like a mouth closer to a fortune cookie and we are the fortun(at)e inside. Before the hour is up I will make my way back to my hotel room and out of arcadia. And just sit in the morning buzz of the city, glassy eyed. I only want comfort where there is none. i have never been so wrong about anyone ever. For the record, I am as sorry as I have ever been.there are words that can be strung together and repeated in my ear in a particular order that will unlock the codes of my heart. i sit and wait on them.
- xo
8/14/2006 - 12:17 PM EST
dear world,please make me not alone.
- xo
5/22/2006 - 11:15 PM EST
calm down, charlie brown.on my way back to pretending to be normal.real post soon.so i guess the link i posted isn't working for some people:there are a couple of new pictures making fun of, oh that one incident out there. you should be able to see them in this issue of ap.gotta laugh at myself, especially at the hushsounds expense.
- xo
5/16/2006 - 2:36 PM EST
take your taste back, peel back your skin. you should try saying no once in awhile.name names. i wish there were words stronger than fuck you. but face down on a wet carpet, salty eyes i cant think of them. "i really enjoyed kissing you tonight. i wish there hadn't been any interruptions" versus "things happen". the texts flash and youre fucking caught. im addicted to the truth, didn't anyone tell you baby.this is me broken down.your fist and my face- because i found you out.i dont think ive ever met anyone so terrible.eyes only. only you understand this.idontcareanymore.
- xo
5/14/2006 - 6:26 PM EST
"charlie there is no future in anything. i hope you agree. that is why i like it at war. every day and every night there is a strong possibility that you will get killed and not have to write. i have to write to be happy whether i get paid for it or not. but it is a hell of a disease to be born with. i like to do it. which is even worse. that makes it from a disease into a vice. then i want to do it better than anybody has ever done it which makes it into an obsession. an obsession is terrible. hope you haven't gotten any. thats the only one i have left". ernest hemingway in a letter to charles scribner.nothing steals the magic from writing the way writing about it does.but i can't help but have it spin through my head as i read "the old man and the sea" over and over again.following two plane crashes in africa.the old man is just an old man.the fish are just fish.and the sharks are just sharks.even in this context i dream of it no less.this maybe the closest to love that i ever get.i hate grammar. i hate spell check.they are tools and trades we focus on when the right words escape us.while we can use them in a world that we write, where we make our own rules.they can rob a piece of its life.for me words are more of a compulsion.it is involuntary.it falls in the catagory of breathing and the beating of the heart.sometimes i want to throw my hands up.to wave the white flag.to apologize for everything i havent done yet.but usually i want to forget the pictures and the rumors.to become a recollection, a shared memory. visually: a faint, sentimental face that blurs into the background of everything. to watch all of the magazines turn to static.and only be thought of by the clicking of these keys.its a shot in the dark.but every boy has got to dream, right?on my best day, when all the planets have aligned, i still couldnt come close to touching you.
- xo
5/10/2006 - 7:03 PM EST
the keyboard is unforgiving. it doesn't have much give. it hates the life inside your fingertips, it is jealous. if youre not careful youre gonna write yourself into a corner... her mom had a heart that served as a trophy case for award winning methheads. i couldnt blame her for how she turned out but id love to shoot the scientist that figured out the connection between geneology and behavioral patterns. her trustfund is nothing more than a series of amateur nights in florida strip clubs and an alcohol tolerance like you wouldnt believe. shes a prizefighter past her prime who just wont get out of the ring because its the only thing shes ever known. youre the young buck in fuck me red gloves laced tight, grinning just before the bell in the first round. because you know how the odds stack up. because you know that its just a matter of being faster and hitting harder. you are a wordsmith- imagine the bedside manner of this spin doctor. "sometimes if things are going right you just need to lower your standards". its last call for a shot of conscience...you remind me of the way things went before all of this. www.myspace.com/thehushsound - wine red demo.
- xo
4/6/2006 - 11:22 PM EST
hindsight is always 20/20 - in retrospect:stitch was one of my favorite cartoon characters ever.the teeth, the extra arms, the meanness.and always with the best intentions.thats all.
- petey
3/28/2006 - 12:45 AM EST
got some good news. i figured i'd post it here cause some of its kinda fbr related:1. first and foremost. i am excited to announce that lifetime has signed to decaydance (fbr) records. mostly, because the world needs another lifetime record. this is a partnership before it is anything else- and i have an intense respect for this band. how they go about things will be unchanged whether they play 2 shows or 200 shows - or who they record with or what the new stuff sounds like. i am a super fan and its exciting to have the chance to hear new songs! more than anything i hope new kids who are fans of bands from this scene can see where all of us got much of our influence from.2. the clandestine / fender squire bass has been set into motion- i will get pics up asap over at the buzznet. i am thinking that it will be available around the last two weeks of this tour possibly- and we are going to keep the price as low as squire basses are (under 300 - sold at guitar centers for between 220 and 260). i am excited about it.3. off day in new mexico. us and the all american rejects took over a chucky cheese. pictures will be up soon.4. deep breath, smile. dont take it all so seriously (that was mostly directed at me).xo
- petey
3/22/2006 - 8:08 PM EST
i cant believe how i started that last one off. it read so wrong. the last time i felt anything:My wrists are black and blue from bumping the edge of the table next to the keyboard like a punching bag. Im sorry just that’s the only way I know how to get this out. consider it closer to preheating the oven for when I drag the pen across my skin and spill the ink. My eyes black and trembling, sinking like stones. Her hands hold my head back once an hour as I throw up in the sink. The front of the stereo lights up "hello" when it turns on, it’s the only conversation in the room. Every night the alarm goes off at last call reminding me. I leave the house just in time to meet her out in front of the closed bar. Neon lights set free as they are shut off, they now go to sleep without a purpose. We own the edge of the street. I had concerns but they’re wearing off in the moonlight. I tell her I love the angle her hair takes in the shadows stretched across the street, cars plowing through the silhouettes of our torsos. Shes not impressed. I follow it up by telling her how she seems so L.A., she thanks me, though I never meant it to be a compliment. Her eyelashes are black and long- they seem to be the stitching around her eyes, holding all the fabric that is her together. I fight the urge to pull one and watch her unravel like an old sweater. I chew swallowables just to get them in my bloodstream faster. I skip the cell phone and just knock on her door just to get her in my bloodstream faster. I apologize for remembering everything out of order but my mind never was too linear. My head feels full of perfumed air and disinfectant spray. It feels like its been blown up with air but not floating more with an air heavier than the earth’s atmosphere and rolling slowly down the street. My head is swimming in milligram doses. Detatched, maybe this is what it feels like to be her, thinking of me. My last thoughts are of leaves floating in an abandoned pool in autumn. Strange. The way their stems move like fish. My pupils are fucking collosal, and if you could read them they’d be like the sign on a storefront "I’m sorry I have stepped away for awhile". Close the lid of the computer and lay back my head on the pillow blackened by your mascera. There’s people on tv a half a world away that are being blown up for trying to vote and I am complaining when we have diet soda instead of regular on our rider. You probably don’t even know what a rider is, but that’s just proof that you’re focusing on the wrong part of that sentence. Im skidding my shoe along the sidewalk, you’re telling me about your day- only I stopped caring about your days about a month ago. Im wearing your scarf cause I love the way it smells, the weather definitely isn’t calling for it, but it makes my memory feel comfortable. Im always trying to please my memory lately so it stops running off on me. Stop at the corner. We both have our hoods up, I tug yours towards my face. our eyes should always be this close(d), to this day ive never written a word about your lips just because I could never found ones that they are deserving of. And im not one for breaking habits, so I wont now. Fuck it. This isn’t gonna make any sense when I read it in the morning anyway.
- petey
3/14/2006 - 2:19 AM EST
icantwaittoseeyouagain:He said "I was pretty much born in an abortion clinic".Lines like that are show stoppers.Imagine records being scratched at parties in the movies."I was born in Tampa in may of 82’, they razed the hospital and by January 83’ it was an abortion clinic".And this was my introduction to one of my bestfriends.He’s the gun that didn’t discharge.He’s The quarters you cant pick up cause they are glued to the ground.He is a disaster- He’s all the worst parts of the bible, thrown into one.The disaster sleeps in a bunk less than 3 feet away from me (there are worse things tonight than the bus crashing). He’s wearing a shirt that says "cowgirls ride better bare back".It’s enough to make me laugh, if only because he’s used that as a pick-up line.The light on my laptop pulses white on black like morse code mayday signals in the dark.It always wants me.It always knows what im thinking (so does The disaster).The disaster is looking in my bunk over the curtains again.Hes’s always looking for something to ruin.I close my eyes to fake sleep.Im not fast enough or he knows me too well.Right now he is a cycle: scream, laugh and fall over, repeat."Networks would pay good money for a reality tv star like you" I say.(We are the opposite of diamonds in the rough).Maybe he’ll hyperventilate and pass out."pete, you in there?" he shouts in response.Clearly there isn’t an iq equvilancy test to be my friend.I tell him, "gimme your moms number. You know its not too late for her to have an abortion"."alright, lets go eat"- he spits as he stumbles towards the bathroom.He’s either too drunk or not drunk enough.I couldn’t make up a kid like this.Our lives as a greek tragedy. Every single fucking character you get attatched to dies at the end.The bus crawls into texas.But it doesn’t matter. All the skylines look the same now.Everywhere is- not home.But we still live the lives you always dreamed of.We don’t pay covers. We sleep through the days.I mostly think of vampires.Not quite. But they are the closest I can come.They gotta know something about the way we don’t go to sleep until the sun comes up. Or maybe something about the marks she’s been leaving on my neck.Yawn.Squint.Dark glasses.I hate the way the sun looks at me. Like it knows everything ive been up to.There is something intensely foreign but at the same time charming about texas. Put the love on hold. We move slow.The disaster is wearing a "don’t mess with texas" shirt.The unOriginal gansta.The disaster says "im faded, but you should really think this over cause it could take all night".But I’m pretty sure he was just faded.My bunk feels like a coffin tonight. The air feels humid here. It makes it hard to breathe. It makes every pull worth it.This is the curtain call on desperation.So come out and take a bow. They’re all throwing roses.Could we get a brighter light to stage left and maybe a bit more attention.(I am all the parts of the bullet but the powder).(I am diamonds into coal).Fuck your low carbs.Fuck your atkins diet.Fuck your southbeach diet.Nothing keeps the weight off like depression.My friends all wonder about my abs- it’s a serious regiment of like a month of sitting alone, waiting for phone calls that never come.Sometimes I feel like the fucking pied piper.The tinted glass is like a two way mirror.This is so voyeuristic it hurts.(I never meant to be like this).What we’d all do for alittle attention.Its like the pied piper-But I am following the light down a vermin hole.You probably shouldn’t come after me.It’s like the pied piper-Only it’s a little bit more like a cult.And I don’t even feel like I am the one behind the wheel anymore.I look up at the light shining through the curtains.The disaster is on to another bunk. Hes got me smiling.
- petey
3/11/2006 - 1:21 AM EST
its funny how i seem to find myself home alone on friday nights. ill catch a look in the mirror at myself on the way up the stairs and i realize that i am not much different from the loser i was in 8th grade. still totally flawed in the same ways- only presented with these flaws at the most inopportune times. thats okay though. it helps my pen. and with the weeks ive had- i am probably a bit better off sitting this one out. i can't wait for everyone to get a chance to see the new video. we spent alot of time on it- patrick scored the entire thing and i have to say that he did an amazing job. but really i just want to be back on the road. playing shows is the only thing that feels okay lately. that and the one time she called me "serious george". lets start a club for all of us losers sitting at home on the internet on a friday night. what should we call it?it feels good to focus on the words again rather than all the bullshit that surrounds, a nice escape the way it used to be.new songs you will like i hope, maybe even love.here are some passages i was writing tonight:"The new uncool. And im leaning my head against some window in sometown. It doesn’t even really matter. My head feels heavy. Tissue stuffed in my nose caked with dried blood, stuck like glue (the way I am to you). Ive got bad luck fists and every single joint in them is dyed a deep bruised violet. The blood is thick coating my throat, I heave towards my feet. December fights mean the most. Your face hurts before you even get into it. In Chicago if you hit somebody in the winter, you really mean it. it hurt my fist everytime I hit this kid’s cheek and teeth. And lets not even talk about how the concrete feels skidding against your face below zero. It’s the only time I don’t skip out on myself. I stand in there for every shot. The first fist in my stomach felt like it turned my guts inside out. I fell onto the curb and heard my keys clink down the angle of the street. I licked my bloody spit on my hand and slapped the kid that just punched me in the gut then walked off to find my keys. This kid spun me around and for the second before he hit me, I laughed cause my spit and blood on his face looked like warpaint, then he hit me right dead center in the face. Like a hiccup in time, it all slows down after you get hit in the face- you cant feel another fucking thing on your body. Like the cartoon stars, this is what they are referring to. Only all I had was every single tear duct on my head working overtime to get enough buckets out. the tears freezing on my cheeks, the blood, salty and quickly working into a paste when mixed with the dirt I had sucked up when I hit the ground. I hear converse pounding the cement in the distance, the sound is absolutely gorgeous. All I can do is smile back at this stupid kid like the worst kind of dare- the kind of smile that says "too late". Sound the cannons. The cavalry has arrived. This is why he will always be my bestfriend in my mind. us chasing these kids home. And him catching one on the front porch of the kids own home and pulling him off of it, the skin on this kids hand tearing as he is wrenched from the safety of the doorknob he has anchored himself on. this kid was screaming like he was being murdered. We’re panting in the cold air. Kissing off "maybe we shouldn’t"s like they were nothing. He is holding the kid and I am laying into him again and again. Right hand only. I want this kid to feel every hit. Its like green/silver on the screen, our glory days, his mom coming out of the front porch and my bestfriend telling her to ‘get back in the fucking house’. This kid defiant until the end, I gotta give that to him, no white flags- "fuck you"s between every hit. Me spitting my blood into his mouth. I get into a rhythm until this kid goes limp. For every single time I couldn’t sleep at night cause I knew what kids like this were gonna say to me in the morning. We wash the blood off of our faces and hands in the snow on the kids front lawn and walk home. Stopping when I see the glimmer of my keys in the sewer. He’s got longer arms then me so he reaches in and takes them back. There’s no other reason to remember this than- no one deserves the title bestfriend if they don’t sound like the cavalries cannons or aren’t willing to bleed next to you.""I never meant for this to end up the way it has, you gotta believe me- the songs, the words, the flashes of the camera, the same interviews with the same answers over and over again to hell- im always a phone call away from making it or breaking it. and you should know that only when I see your sweated out eyes, that almost look like tears, living and dying right in front microphone altar, it’s the only reason I don’t throw the towel in. instead I shrug it off, another year down. Tell myself anything to make sense of it all. "Damn, kid- you really believe in yourself". I used to believe in dragons too. And I used to like these words a whole lot more but then they started sleeping around with your eyes and ears. Im coughing directions into the phone, my lungs hurt like im smoking sympathy cigarettes with you every time you light up. "turn left at the second stop sign. At the end of my driveway turn (b)right". thank god "I can’t wait to see you" weighs a whole lot more than "I cant let you see me like this" in the greater scale of things. You look so fucking good on my front porch when youre coming this way. I fake shyness at the door but only because I think that’s what you want. There is a breadcrumb trail of melancholy that leads back up to my bed or maybe out the third floor window depending on whose following it. We soften, we surrender in the failing light. I kiss your cheek goodbye (you’re not the one leaving). But its only a formality, like crossing yourself before you kneel in church. You are the bright oval light spotted out by the flashlight and I am everything else in the dark room. In the beginning I was only planning on holding on to you and using you recreationally, but then I started needing you at nights and then all the time. The not remembering is what gets to me the worst. Honestly the sex is overrated and the conversation is fucking terrible- so why do you still have me programmed in your phone? I broke out the ougie board and tried to contact the living. I said I need an outline and a diagram but then I can pretty much take it from there. Switch out the characters in this dream cause they just don’t seem realistic. Play the part- change the light cause it makes my skin look washed out. The hardest thing about life is the living part."
- petey
2/28/2006 - 8:33 PM EST
"Tuesday, February 28th, 20063:50 pman open letter to pete wentz.it takes a lot to make me mad. it takes even more to infuriate me.so, after all this time i finally learned the truth. that it was you telling my ex girlfriend lies and secrets. despite even giving you the pass card after i caught you trying to talk dirty to her online, this is how you repay me? no wonder why you couldnt look me in the eye on the bus last summer and no wonder why you avoided me every chance you got. you hug me and tell me you love me then you tell lies to my girlfriend behind my back to lure her away from me? you tell her i cheat on her and then you tell me to come stay on the bus?you are a spineless fucking sham.i regret every second i spent defending you and your selfish ways. dont forget, i know you. not that shitty glammed up poser image you present to the masses to consume. the dude i knew never would have worn a fucking dinosaur shirt or sold out one of his friends. the dude i knew had heart and fucking loyalty. well lil buddy, you are fucking done.you want to sell me out to the most important person in my life and then have the audacity to make ME think I did something wrong to not deserve your friendship? you fucking arrogant bastard. since we're discussing sellouts lets discuss how when kids give you presents you laugh at them and throw it straight in the trash. oh yeah, ive seen it many times. lets talk about how you talk shit about the fat girls that are your fans and mock their letters. you are fucking undeserving of every ounce of attention you've ever gotten. from every one of your calculated business moves to your "spontaneous" jumps in the crowd parts to your well rehearsed cliche lines you've been spouting for 400 shows in a row. you're boring, contrived and old. "oooh, no one loves me, its sooo hard being on magazine covers and tv shows. someone save me from me." what are you, fucking 12? go light your little candles ask yourself why no one will ever truly love you. its amazing no one has caught on to your little fucking show. you're nothing more than a shitty opportunist business man with even shittier fashion sense.so pack up and move to whatever million dollar house you've picked out in california paid for by your lies and hypocrisy and deceit and selfishness and over medicate yourself like youve been doing for years...because guess what? no one wants you here anymore. you are not welcome. oh yeah, hows that straight edge tattoo doing? as well as the tattoo for your "crew" who now refer to you as a fraud and a con? stay gold dude, stay gold.remember this each night of the tour when you play the lie, "hey chris, you were our only friend." downplay it all you want by saying the song is about "friends", but guess whos fucking name you're saying each and every night? mine. thats right. what a bunch of fucking phonies. sing the songs you dont even believe in anymore. fucking liar.you know the friends i have and you know how we feel about loyalty. you know who im talking about and you know they're not happy either.so dont get caught slipping and you better make damn sure you watch whos on your guest list because a plus one might come backstage to punch your fucking teeth out and tear the windpipe from your throat. you fucking sell out. oh, and next time you decide to write another song about me, do it right you fucking coward.**********REPOST EVERYWHERE YOU CAN**************** Current Music: the promise - crush all fakes."oh what a monster we've created.when i am called by my manager to read a post that is burning through the internet it makes me wonder. ive never responded to rumours or shittalking online, no matter who it came from- at the same time there is nothing that makes my blood boil more than reading this- being who i am, my first instinct is to blow it off- but then i consider how anytime anything is written on the internet people believe its true- no matter what, no matter the biases or subjectivity of the sources. my first instinct is to lash out- to say everything i think about you and every situation- to defend myself and attack you. as unbelievable as it is- i am an extremely insecure person- everytime i read something about myself negative or positive i react in probably the exact same way anyone would.- but like i said- i am going to continue to do this my own way, what i consider to be the higher road. i understand when we get angry we often lash out- ive done it myself on many occassions. if you want to talk to me about any of this call me on my cell phone and we can do it one on one-i will not be responding to anything else-however, the attacks about our fans and the people that listen to this music and read these words is completely offbase- the fans of this band are my entire life- ive lost my girlfriend, my friends, much of my "normal" life- just to keep this relationship going- this isn't to say that i dont make mistakes, take misteps. just because youve seen me on tv or at a show doesn't make me anything less or more than human. you dont ever see the other side of the way we agonize over every decision we make or try our best to please everyone- because we've given up in bands before and we know how it feels and we dont want that to happen. everyone in the band is upset about this- remember everyone that makes up fall out boy- they all wanted me to voice that we appreciate our fans and friends that weve met more than anything- and that we realize because of where we are all the arrows are pointed at us- but we will try our best. and we do try our best. we also, have far more faith in the intelligence and dedication of the people that believe in us to think that they will be swayed easily. if you want to hear other stories of how we actually talk about our fans or think of them please ask other bands, they will testify to how we really act. we just want you to know that in four years when noone cares, we still hope you are there. im not going to freak out or whatever, but please an attack on our fans or our relationship with them as a p.r. move is uncalled for.this doesn't need to be reposted anywhere- i am sure that fob fans know where to find it.chris if you want to talk the phone line is there.i wrote this pretty fast so i apologize for the typos and run-ons.until then, thank you to everyone who reserves judgment and has my back until the end of time.
- petey
2/19/2006 - 4:02 AM EST
i feel like howl from howls moving castle embodies every single feeling that goes through my head.that is all. i am in the lobby of a hotel in new york city waiting for something that isn't ever going to happen.i am calculating all of the legs and drunken stutters. i am precise. i am a machine. i am a hot mess.
- petey
2/16/2006 - 1:03 AM EST
things that both currently annoy and amuse me:ariplanes"hottie mchottie" and other hilarious lines that should not be said haha unfortunately i dont get to choose the lines.east coast weather.west coast girls.yawning.being awake all night.i am tired.
- petey
things that both currently annoy and amuse me:ariplanes"hottie mchottie" and other hilarious lines that should not be said.east coast weather.west coast girls.yawning.being awake all night.i am tired.
- petey
2/7/2006 - 8:03 AM EST
momma and poppa are cute. they were all at the hob la show. my dad says "will you please introduce your mother to jay-z". jigga and my mommy totally chatted.wow.oh and the show was amazing.
- petey
1/18/2006 - 2:52 AM EST
the band is in chicago preparing their new homes to be moved into. mine is still in my parents cause i am a loser like that: see also why i am hanging in nyc by myself. but ive got some schemes that i am working on.how i have been (barely) living: the hippo and the turtle, hanging out with minkus from boy meets world in north carolina, going to the mtv studios in nyc to see baby bros all growed up on trl, eating every single thing in this hotel minibar, writing, you. writing you.
- petey
the band is in chicago preparing their new homes to be moved into. mine is still in my parents cause i am a loser like that: see also why i am hanging in nyc by myself. but ive got some schemes that i am working on.in other news, its kind of sad to watch a friend become everything that they hate.how i have been (barely) living: the hippo and the turtle, hanging out with minkus from boy meets world in north carolina, going to the mtv studios in nyc to see baby bros all growed up on trl, eating every single thing in this hotel minibar, writing, you. writing you.
- petey
1/17/2006 - 1:36 AM EST
these  HYPERLINK "http://www.waleg.com/photos/displayimage.php?album=129&pos=3" \t "_blank" pictures make me think of me and you before i got so crazy.the hippo lost its momma in the tsunami. now the he hangs out with this super old turtle and follows it around. from what i've read they have developed their own form of communication.this is insane.these parts of life are amazing.i will try and not forget them next time.
- petey
1/13/2006 - 4:16 AM EST
first jt. now mr. frey. i fear that we are next.it may just be the hour of the night or the song stuck in my head or some strange mix of it all.i can't shake it. the chemists called it crossed signals.the poets called it magical.nowyousayimabird.
- petey
1/4/2006 - 4:38 PM EST
my top ten (er top seven) of 2005 - no records included.1. bonnie dillard - she is always around to tell me how wack i am - she uses the the word "totes" and "just sayin" way too much - and actually types them! she named her dog roxie wentz and she has given me exactly two compliments in my entire life - one of which was on an outfit that she picked out for me. but she pretty much is the glue for clandestine and sometimes pete wentz. editor of filthy magazine.2. nick scimeca - this kid makes the craziest faces i have ever seen in my entire life. the first time i met him we got in a snowball fight. pretty much we are in this gang together forever. he does infect, foe, and some clandestine stuff. pretty much whenever i am bummed i can call him up on the phone and hell tell me some hilarious story.3. demar hamilton - i have pulled this kids underwear off every time he is around me and totally wasted. its awesome. he also has a dog living in his basement that looks like a 100 yearold teddy ruxpin. oh yeah, his band is rad.4. leslie simon - me and her talk about our crushes all the time. we have a mutual love for the music of ashlee simpson and kelly clarkson. when i tell her insane stories i dont even have to say "off the record" she pretty much knows. she thinks of bright eyes and fob in the same way which blows my little mind. she is editting rainy day kids. oh yeah and writing a book about boys in tight jeans that wear eyeliner as far as i can tell but its pretty hush hush.5. jonathon cecil miller/dirty - pretty much this kid is made of snakes, snails and puppy dog tails. i have nothing else to say but he is the new pauly shore - even if he always punches me for saying that. pretty much he looks like a cheeseburger with toothpicks for legs but i wouldnt trade him for the world. pretty much he is the best kid ever.6. jim sevcik (or however you spell it) - this is the guy who goes and digs the little youth medium shirts out of tiny boxes in the 100 plus degrees on warped tour or freezing temp on NFT - and then takes the money out of your paws. he is definitely most underrated.7. andrew simon/buck - when on the westcoast these guys function as my mother. they take us out to dinner, help me find a house or apartment, look up movie times, get screenings, help me find tours, starbucks, have the cutest baby on the planet, oh yeah and they even book shows every once in awhile.oh well i ran out of steam. ill finish later. pretty much people that i hang out with every single day are not included on this - you know who you are.
- petey
12/24/2005 - 8:27 PM EST
blue christmasso i was sitting around this christmas. just kinda getting bummed out looking at the lights outside of shiny houses in my neighborhood and decided that it was time fall out boy gave somethng back. we decided to pick a cause that we feel is often overlooked- education of poor people in africa (specifically ethiopia). we feel like education is one of the most important building blocks in change- so after doing some research we found and organization that we felt really was doing it right:  HYPERLINK "http://www.a-cet.org" \t "_blank" a-cet.org - this isn't some glossy amazing press piece it is doing something quietly to make a change- and we loved that. so we decided to put a couple of old and rare FOB and clandestine items up on ebay. here's the deal- if you dont see the link off of a fall out boy site than don't trust that it is us doing it- part two- keep bidding the more we can help the better. and three we will keep adding more items up here for a bit so keep checking back. they are all legitimate and endorsed by FOB and all items will come signed. happy bidding: HYPERLINK "http://cgi.ebay.com/never-produced-clandestine-shirt-sample-fall-out-boy_W0QQitemZ4812617551QQcategoryZ52473QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem" \t "_blank" a clandestine shirt sample that was never made HYPERLINK "http://cgi.ebay.com/clandestine-breakdance-not-hearts-shirt-fall-out-boy_W0QQitemZ4812615104QQcategoryZ52473QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem" \t "_blank" breakdance not hearts shirt worn on big in 05 awards HYPERLINK "http://cgi.ebay.com/giant-VMA-moonman-pez-dispenser_W0QQitemZ4812612435QQcategoryZ52473QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem" \t "_blank" giant moonman pez dispenser given to nominees at the VMAs HYPERLINK "http://cgi.ebay.com/fall-out-boy-trading-card-lot-takethistoyourgrave_W0QQitemZ4812607828QQcategoryZ52473QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem" \t "_blank" complete set of take this to your grave trading cards. including rare cardnew: HYPERLINK "http://cgi.ebay.com/original-bleach-clandestine-shirt-i-am-the-dream_W0QQitemZ4812798220QQcategoryZ52473QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem" \t "_blank" original bleach "i am the dream" shirt clandestine HYPERLINK "http://cgi.ebay.com/secret-order-of-FOB-shirt-hyper-limited_W0QQitemZ4812800208QQcategoryZ52473QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem" \t "_blank" original secret order shirt HYPERLINK "http://cgi.ebay.com/alternative-press-poster-fall-out-boy-limited_W0QQitemZ4812796786QQcategoryZ52473QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem" \t "_blank" alternative press poster signed by entire bandspend your xmas cash...oh and just to make it fun. fob will match whatever the grand total is.
- petey
12/17/2005 - 4:01 PM EST
sometimes you have to be a whiney baby and talk shit on other bands and jump on stuff and break stuff and watch the notebook and wear girls jeans and tiny t-shirts.and sometimes you have to know when to laugh at yourself: HYPERLINK "http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4435593179243241083&q=fall+out+boy" \t "_blank" watch thishahahaha. grand.
- petey
12/7/2005 - 9:21 PM EST
hey jellybean. you're only playing to the crowd now. ive been coast to coast now. on both sides of salty deeps. and i know just what to do with someone like you. my eyes all washed out. morning gray. sunshined california a.m.'s commanding me awake. shrugged off my worries. they don't look so great on camera. take a note- where are the minutes of our last meeting? this is an unofficial surrender. but you can't see my white flag through all the cameras flashing. or the way im only looking at the kiss in the corner of her mouth. you know cause wendy looks like a homewrecker from tinks perspective. none of this is making sense cause ive been keeping my i.q. in the medicine chest. no matter what the light is like there are just some kids who always have that gleam in their eye.cause they're always holding back.
- petey
11/30/2005 - 7:10 PM EST
you are my lobster.
- petey
11/18/2005 - 4:58 PM EST
The real me is the giant squid. It’s the planet just past Pluto. Its time travel. Its all these theoretical ideas that cant be proven. How I feel is "what killed the dinosaurs" and "how the pyramids were built". Just guesses that maybe hit their marks and maybe are miles off. Im a Saturday soul on a Monday night. Everything I know about girls I learned from watching my sister talk on the phone, fuck Im sorry, blame her if I got it all wrong. Everything I know about sex I learned from watching dirty movies, fuck im sorry, blame traci lords cause I know I got it all wrong. The saddest songs sing themselves.makeup caked on my face, not for the show but because im tired of being me. It aint a pretty face, its just the hull of the ship. And were burning up in the atmosphere. We crashed hard at the learning curve. The poets come to life in hotel rooms and bathroom stalls.Look in the mirror and repeat: "hes losing his touch"- "why is this so cryptic" "we don’t want to be the next fall out boy"- and pretend your alive, handsome. its all the difference between: feeling exposed and feeling overexposed. read between the lines- Treat yourself like a video cassette rewind endlessly to catch only the best parts, skip over the rest and eject. You aint anything new, youre just the latest in a long line of people who have been you and will be you. and you aren’t even the best at it. but you might have the biggest mouth. massage this ego, cause its feeling kind of sore. But youre a sprinter and this one is a long distance race. They say you cant run the whole way but fuck what they say. Fuck you for giving up. Take this to press. You’ve only got four stories to tell and theyre getting old. Dig up some new dirt. Ill air some more dirty laundry. Cause that’s all this is. a laundry room without any washing machines (nobodys coming clean). Just because we’re not responding doesn’t mean what you say is true- or that it doesn’t hurt. The fair-weather friends are keeping score in journals and in whispered voices. That’s okay. Im never gonna pretend to be more than I am- just a kid trying to figure myself out, and how dare I? The glue isn’t even dry on my pity party invitations and im already bored with feeling sorry for myself. Pause. Keep clawing my way out of this, mr. Mess I have become. Its okay in the end for everybody no matter how this turns out. the simplest words seem to be the truest. Humming them out of key and in a voice so hoarse it hurts. Single light in the bunk glowing late night messages. My mom said Ive got to start smiling in mirrors or else im gonna always feel weird about the person looking back. Put the buzzing phone to my headached head. "I’ll be home soon"…you know its a lie but it makes us both feel ok. I know this probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but it just feels better to get it out to you. Scientists in japan just photographed the first live giant squid on record. Ive never seen anything so terrifying or beautiful. Goodnight, pretty.
- petey
10/24/2005 - 5:40 PM EST
its funny the way you grovel when there are no microphones or camera flashes in sight. - take a stand. it makes me laugh. dot coms refresh for the drama.
- petey
10/18/2005 - 4:54 PM EST
if you can help:*******MISSING WOMAN, OLAMIDE ADEYOOYE, FROM NORMAL, ILLINOIS******** "On October 13th at around 9 P.M., Olamide Elizabeth Adeyooye (Oh-LAH-Mee-Day Ah-Day-YO-yay) went missing from her apartment on Market Street in Normal, Illinois (Illinois State University) She is nicknamed "Ola" or "Ollie." She was last seen at Family Video around the same time, however, managed to reach her apartment and put one of the videos in. When her apartment was broken into on Saturday by her friends, we found her cell phone on her couch and her TV was on. Her car and keys and purse are missing, and her door was locked. If you would like to see a picture of what she looks like, you can go to www.myspace.com/olamide1 She is 21 years old, 110 pounds, and about 5'3". She is of Nigerian descent and has shoulder length, natural black hair and dark eyes. If you would like to read the whole account of the story, you can visit blog.myspace.com/petrey. If you have any information regarding her disappearance, you can call Ashley Petrey at 630-674-7949 or the Normal, Illinois Police Department at 309-454-9535. If you have any ideas or suggestions on how to help us find our beloved Olamide, please contact me, Ashley Petrey, and I can send you a flyer or help you get started. Please don't disregard this, this has shaken up a whole university, not to mention the entire town of Bloomington-Normal. Help us get our Ollie Pollie home safely. "
- petey
10/11/2005 - 3:06 AM EST
just cause you can.take your shyness pills.put it all on the line.every single time.just when you thought i couldn't get anymore flamboyant.i got a new vest and some shoes with teddy bears on them.yikes.new october fall songs are gonna suprise you.wait for it. wait for it.
- petey
10/7/2005 - 3:19 PM EST
wow. now way too many updates. i wanted to apologize to everyone at the 9:30 club show in d.c. originally we were supposed to play a show called "shantytown" but the county it was supposed to take place in said that it couldn't happen at the last minute- due to noise regulations or something- we were not given that information. so instead, immediatly following the 9:30 club show we rushed over to a studio and played a small show we had promised we would do. we are sorry to skip out on anyone waiting outside.some things that dont get enough attention or thanks, so google them:plain white t'slifetime (the band we would not exist without)jason tateequal studiothe stereoarmor for sleeprob dobifueled by ramenskyriterrob hittkeep on loving/hating.fob
- petey
10/5/2005 - 11:30 PM EST
there is no beef. just seitan. just getting rattled over nothing. get down with the sickness.just too much make up and no hearts just egos on the sleeves over here in fall out boy land.the new panic record hypes itself, so i will shut my damn mouth."a kid who tells on another kid is a dead kid".
- petey
9/23/2005 - 12:59 AM EST
bloom. come to life. at best you got a couple of short ones. "heaven help us if this is our prime". see it all play out. observe. approach and act casual. raise the anchors. your ears and your brain have had this amazing marriage. but now they are in their golden years and the new panic at the disco record is the sexy next door neighbor. midlife crisis. take her out for a spin. don't you dare fall in love. i hope none of THE OTHER las vegas BANDs get jealous that there is another gem out in the middle of the desert. ive got saturday nights on loan from sunday but i got some pretty bad credit. lets ride it out. friday night seven days a week. just until we forget. bloom. come to life. picked from the stem. FUCKing wasting my time on FLOWERS.if you live in chicago i hope to see you at the panic at the disco show this saturday. they play at 4:30. ill pick you up at 4 so we can get a soda on the way.
- petey
9/16/2005 - 5:30 PM EST
from a closed closet at bamboozle fest in nj... its all coded. i don't have any reason to post. everything is feeling alright and better since having the headshrinkers and labcoats around. you know what actually has me feeling amazing this week? "almost here". this band has grown up in front of my eyes. i haven't listened to the record in a month or so because i drove it into the ground. but its making me feel amazing right this second. but you know why mostly? because this isn't shit compared to what they have coming.william beckett plus peter wentz.
- petey
9/7/2005 - 4:26 AM EST
first. most of our fans are amazing. thank you for being you- you made last year amazing. i want to make this year amazing for you. the new songs are insane.second. please leave my friends alone. don't attack them.third. there is nothing like experiencing failure at the speed of light.'i am badnews, but i still love you...'
- petey
9/6/2005 - 12:57 PM EST
citing 'irreconcilable differences with myself'.selling 50,000 records a week and i can't look in the mirror.i am disappointed in myself.i am disappointed in this.and it should have been kept safe.the reason we never told anyone is because we knew the world would ruin it. and at the end of the day it did.the whispers never stopped.i lied. so you lied.and it made you crazy. and i'm sorry.people pulled us apart. lured us. and you were my home.it didn't matter what was said when our heads were on the sides of the pillows.last night i dreamt it turned out differently.i would stop this in a second and move to middle of nowhere with you and disappear.it so hard to find someone who likes me for me and not because i am pete from fall out boy.and i found them. and then watched it fade.dear world, fuck you.
- petey
8/30/2005 - 3:49 AM EST
the roc is still alive when fall out boy hits the mic.can we say that we love you anymore.you rbought it.did you hear the collective gasp when they said fall out boy.shock.we were standing up to clap for our friends in My Chem, who we were sure had one.we then realized we didn't know where to walk to or what to do.we definitely noticed Usher give us the "WTF?" look when we went by him and hugged my chem.we didn't write anything down, so we were very nervous when we got to the mic.we dressed up like harry potter when we played so we would feel the magic.we drove to the red carpet in a saturn and fell out cause we are broke.we realize that beyonce quoted us. we wanted to return the favor "say my name, say my name- you're acting kinda shady aint callin me baby..."jayz is the coolest. but luda is kinda close to as cool. and we have a super crush on christina milian. we are happy to be part of the defjamfam.we realize that you made the world shake just for a second.we want to pay you back with more than just a discount in our webstore. let me think of how.one night can change it all. and you did that for me. so thank you.
- petey
8/26/2005 - 5:43 PM EST
ah. from the retirement home.have i told you guys lately that you are the best?our video retired on TRL today ONLY because of you.thank you.that is all.
- petey
8/18/2005 - 6:22 PM EST
dear warped tour,even though you made us hot and dirty, we had the best summer of our lives and wanted to thank you.thank you to every single one of you guys that came out, sang the words, crowd surfed, watched or came up to our signing and told us we suck (hehe).the love is back on.bigplans."we only do it for the scars and stories" still holds true. you don't even know, and im not telling.
- petey
7/19/2005 - 6:14 PM EST
first to all the kids at kimmel! thank you so much. i know alot of kids travelled far away and got there really early. it suprised me how many people i recognized. you didn't go unnnoticed! alot of people emailed about smashing the bass and what kind of mood i was in. i wish they had shown the whole show. that show made me light up. i felt alive. i don't know why i break stuff, its cause im little and strange. i throw mic stands and spit water and lick joes guitar. and being able jump on stuff and touch your sweaty little arms, honestly it gives me chills as dumb as it sounds. its all how the chords and words feel when they come out. "you want a war, you've got a war but what are you fighting for?"hey. here i am 35,000 feet off of the ground writing to you. i will upload this when i land i guess. i'm not even too sure what i am writing for. not breaking new ground or breaking down. just maybe i need to take a break from getting on here so much cause i tend to run my mouth/heart without thinking too much about it. sometimes i need (alright alright) slow down. anyway. all of the growth and changes get to me too. i guess everyone says you get what you wished for. but this was never a genie in a lamp for me. it's always just been me and my bestfriends. and sometimes it feels weird inside like being pulled apart. and maybe people like my smile and patricks voice and joe's spins and how nice andy is or they hate how short i am and i can't think of any of the stuff anyone hates about the other boys but i've heard it- and it just feels weird, cause we never did this thing so it would become what it has. we always just wanted to sit in between the speakers in your bedroom and spin you to sleep. and these kids are my bestfriends. we talk about sometimes just disappearing off of the face of the planet and just doing something else. and everyone kind of laughs but just for a minute it sounds like the best idea. we are so happy and in love with everyone who has stuck it out with us. and i'm SOrry if i seem distant at times, my head is just filled with ideas, good and bad- its funny when you keep letting the same person get to you over and over and over and over- i'll try and be better. after having my livejournal hacked, i kind of decided maybe i need to take a break from just sitting on the internet and trying to decipher every little thing out there and at the same time drop coded messages everywhere. anyway, more than anything. i just wanted to thank you for helping me bloom and become a better person, or at least want to become a person that you could actually look up to. its time to be the dreamer instead of the dream///talk to you soon.i am going to go read the entire new harry potter book right this second.peterwrote you a goodbye note (you just wrote me off) on your arm when you passed out. bestfriends, exfriends- better off as lovers not the other way around. racing through the city in the back of yellow checkered cars. the takeoffs are the worst but the skin from your shoulder to your ear makes it all worth it. and im sorry the way my moods flicker on and off like old light on your porch, but i know you wouldn't have it any other way. sneaking in your window instead of out. the way you hold a cigarette cause you don't know what to do with your hands when we are sitting this close. the way the waists of pants feel better at the ankles. the way you always were my best excuse for calling in sick on everyone else. i miss you.
- petey
7/12/2005 - 4:29 AM EST
i'm in canada. it can't take me. i am stealing all of it's candy and pretty colored money. hidden behind eyes painted up to block out the sun. no more talking about hair color and eye color - the who's who of future failures. throw it away. close your eyes and put the speaker next to your pillow. dream away. dream yourself to life. stop wasting your eyes trying to figure out who is the heart - the smile - the voice - the words. you can't pull them apart. its just a mess. how you understand us is so one dimensional. but changes are coming. you won't wrap your head around us so easily. "you're nobody until somebody loves you" at least that's half true. let's not make it through the night. come on. you look so wrong but you feel so right. "he tastes like you only sweeter he tastes like you only sweeter he tastes like you only sweeter he tastes like you only sweeter..." and so on until the end. sometimes i'm just a goddamned lunatic. but i only keep myself this sick in the head cause i know how you get off on these words.baby, ive got it bad for you.peterps i love seeing all the s.o. kids and overcast kids... it makes my heart racepps just call me up and tell me everything is going to be okay. it came out of nowhere and i just want everyone to know our thoughts are with them. HYPERLINK "http://www.clandestineindustries.com" \t "_blank" www.clandestineindustries.com - get your body covered in our ideas... fall line s(w)oon HYPERLINK "http://www.jeanae.com" \t "_blank" www.jeanae.com - get your hur cut HYPERLINK "http://www.infectkids.com" \t "_blank" www.infectkids.com - get your website designed
- petey
7/4/2005 - 7:37 PM EST
your number one with a bullet:i love the way you have with me.i love william beckett. like a boy loves a boy.i love this one girl. she makes me swoon.i love your tired eyes trying to keep up with us on stage.i love the way youre gonna make me an honest man.and im kinda easy on the eyes sometimes, right?i love being up at 9 am.i love the night.i love living forever.i love summer.i am loving this.and you and everything.you cant miss me, baby boy, we're doing big things.thanks for always being the bestfriends and fans we could ever have.
- petey
6/20/2005 - 6:55 PM EST
haiku for you...moonlit blues dimmingveins full of point fives and onesturning my head offjust watch my mind runover by the ambulanceside effect lover
- petey
6/14/2005 - 2:50 PM EST
her dad was a cook.more like a chemist.now he's doing time for burning down a shack out in the woods.she gets her affection through two inch bulletproof glass two weekends a month, when her mother will drive her out there.her hair is nosebleed red kinda funny in the way she always has the sniffles too, but you wouldn't laugh out loud, just in your head.but me i'm brave, but in the boy next door kind of way. gone wrong ofcourse.she says her family used to ski in vail.i'm thinking this is a thinly veiled code for something about drugs but i'm not sure.someone should wipe that smile off of her face.someone should tell her that she's a terminal case and ruin her day.not me, you know i'm kinda too into her.it's the kind of conversation i'd engage behind cigarette smoke late at night with someone else.she's like exposed brick. its not really as classy as people in manhattan apartments will tell you.she always talks my ear off.telling me amazing stories from the middle of nowhere.i can hear the crickets chirping.and the tumbleweeds blowing.like how the 92 flood of mississippi was so bad that the water went into graveyards and she saw coffins floating down the street on the news.peaceful resting place.when we walk into a casino in vegas she tells me how they pump oxygen through the vents to keep people from feeling tired. how they make them like a maze around the casino floor so you can't find exits. how they keep the drinks coming for free. how everything is inclusive, you can get whatever you need, so you won't leave. she tells you to notice how there isn't anywhere to sit down except in front of a slot machine. she tells you it's just to get you to keep gambling.as if it't a conspiracy.just so you know she also calls tornados: twisters. and she's been in too many to count.today she said the sky looked too nice, "it just isn't right".we have patchwork afternoons like this.just sewn together but not really matching.we would if we could though. just coming apart at the seams and thats what's so attractive about eachother.we could beat this rap. we could change your mind about us. we could live through this.we just don't want to.fuck your futures.
- petey
5/26/2005 - 1:58 PM EST
Its not me, its youThe (after)life(r) of the partyBlow out the candlesAnd try to forget another year of favors (and how long its gonna take to repay them)And sleeping in between citiesIm up to the hips with dreamsWe’re green and gold racing towards 6 amWho was me last night?"slow down pretty boy"but youre just not keeping upand I never told you the way I love how you sleep in your make upits not romance but itll have to dowould it be forward of me to say im the best youll (n)ever haveand dollface dreams are just something that get in the way of giving inbroken down not broken outim only good for a couple of hours on your couch,hand down the front of your pants or maybe for a story or twoim a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apartfull moon pills got me out on the streets at nightwatch me transform in the moonlightI watch you work the roomKnowing that its their smiles and clinking drinks at cocktail hourBut its always me at this time of nightHips pressed close to mine – true blueThe way they talk about you aint even closeEnvelopes postmarked to nowhereVacant babyIm checking outfailure never looked so prettyLine em up, flashes across the room in redKiss me electricLeave my best days in memoriesAnd my bestlines closed tight in booksKeep the lights off so I cant see your tearsShe said "we should move somewhere deep in the middle of july"And I replied "dream me up something better than me and you"
- petey
5/3/2005 - 3:45 AM EST
i love the way you type...ps. didn't you think it would be about time where it got to the point where people hated us just for the sake of it? i have so much to say about it but i am keeping it in. it's just not worth addressing every internet claim or review. no offense to your standards but i don't think you got the point of what we were doing. THE LYRICS and SONGS are a commentary on YOU. you are what is ruining music and what we love... we aren't writing summer songs and we aren't writing progressive music- we're calling you out- so when we're reading your IMs, we're laughing cause you didn't even get it. everything you read about us isn't true. i'm not saying everyone should love our record or us, that would be ridiculous. music is a very subjective thing. i understand that but your condescending bullshit and unnecessary harshness doesn't go unnoticed. we remember you and the way you can't ever say anything to our faces. what are you in it for? the music or the misery? thanks to the people who have stuck by us through thick and thin... you are our heart.what would they say if they could see us now?keep l i HYPERLINK "http://thesecretorder.livejournal.com" \t "_blank" /o ving
- petey
4/13/2005 - 4:52 PM EST
hey girls. special post for you. i am looking for a womens blazer that would fit a dude about my size- black or striped or whatever. ill trade you something cool. collar shirts too. im down for whatever. bring it to the show, ill trade you up. love peterbtw- xs in dudes, probably m or l in girls.... aaaaaaannnnd dont feel like you gotta bring anything but your smile- woo.
- petey
3/22/2005 - 4:49 AM EST
love doesnt mean a thing if its not leaving us light headed- all my headaches are in my chest for you now.
- petey
3/13/2005 - 6:13 PM EST
love is just going on because. we're trying to get real. my bunk feels like a coffin but my corpse deserves a parade around the country. wearing makeup cause she said i was pretty in it but i know im just d(sh)ying. here's to spring cleaning (up all the messes we made over winter). ive got new habits and loves including: words all over again, bloody lips, and fuck offs. "9 weeks can't change you". but you don't even get it. words just love me more. no worries though. you: "damn kid you just look so sad". me: "....". but im changing. get (re)born. i dont want this anymore.drive me dead.get busy living or get busy dying.peter
- petey
3/2/2005 - 6:38 PM EST
alive and (un)well. just being melodramatic when it's completely unnecessary. got blue pill eyes behind black eyelids. my mind is running but more like in place, kind of how life is. you wouldn't understand what i mean. you and they have been here before but it isn't the same for me. and trying to explain anything is just leaving me with a dry mouth and sore shoulders and you shaking your head (not in disagreement but more like disbelief). "mellow out"- but thats been the problem all along, at least it's eben one of them. i feel like a nocturnal animal in the zoo at 12 noon. me turning away from you so you don't see my eyes when im walking out the door when im waving my hand back and forth and saying "i'm doing so-so" cause thats what i think someone "regular" would say. you saying  HYPERLINK "http://thesecretorder.livejournal.com" \t "_blank" "shake it off get back in the game kid. we're gonna be okay"- but trailing off in a whisper cause i know you dont even believe yourself. the volume goes with the truth. naivetey feels very strange on me but is as warm as the shyness that comes with it. you'd never guess that. new york transit love affair. the veins going underneath the streets that feel so foreign yet endearing. it's not charm, i just don't get it. trust me (but not really). couch living (dead) has me hanging onto phone lines. darling, i'm not making sense and my throat is sore- maybe at least you know i mean it. dreading when your voicemail as it clicks on. and on and on and on. its me logging off.see you on tour soon. new clandestine merch over at your local hottopic.
- petey
2/1/2005 - 7:33 PM EST
im guessing you are regretting this monster you created. he gave me a prescription and said "these will take take care of your shyness". noone really gets that part though. and who ever wanted you to come out of your shell anyhow. maybe im just pretty sure that i am a total bore. and there's nothing tragic at all, this is (i'm) completely ordinary. and that's whats so tragic. it's so fucking mundane. so while we're all wasting our eyesight on these screens late into the night dying to find some connection to someone- our backs breaking from being hunched over the keyboard- im sending mail addressed to myself just so i get some. im looking in the mirror and dissecting myself, just a smile connected to a pulse, barely connected at that. this wont make any sense when i read it in the morning. i dont want to sleep alone anymore.
- petey
1/29/2005 - 4:37 AM EST
we have finished recording our new record and have a couple of weeks of mixing before we head home to chicago. just to let you know this was one of the hardest and most important things i have done in my life. i spent hours and hours trying to think what words would mean the most, what we had to say.i am listening to the rough versions of the songs.i hope that when it's finally said and done it means as much to you as it does to me.p
- petey
1/11/2005 - 1:32 AM EST
so we heard that the fob xmas cards from the tour are being sold on ebay. we think that is bullshit. they were always meant to be free for our fans and friends. we have some left so if you send a self addressed stamped envelope to korean tom cruise he will send you one. head over to his livejournal for that. www.livejournal.com/~asiandando not pay for them online! p.s. today i told patrick he needed to turn down the patitude.
- petey
1/6/2005 - 4:40 AM EST
chicago to los angeles survival guide: uncrustables, XOskeletons, capri suns, seinfeld seasons 1 and 2, the weakerthans, etc.how about how the transformers was supposed to take place in 2005.now it's here. where are all the fucking autobots.love peter
- petey
1/2/2005 - 4:09 PM EST
the dog update. so alot of people seemed concerned about marley and that made me feel better. he puked every five minutes for a day or so and then went to the emergency vet. there they injected him with saline solution that made his back feel all bumpy when you petted him. now he's doing better. thank god i don't have to punch anyone cause i'm pretty little and don't like to get punched back. marley is doing pretty good now too. he's not bumpy anymore so he's back to his handsome self. all the chick dogs think he's super hot, trust me. my other dog pandora tries to hump him all the time. it's pretty gross you know. but you can't fault them for being in love. like that one disney movie lady and the tramp.i got a new years wish about you.
- petey
12/31/2004 - 5:28 PM EST
so to whoever egged our van last week. my dog marley ate all the eggs on the front lawn and got salmonella poisoning.congratulations.you fucking rule.if my dog dies i'm going to punch you in the face.
- petey
12/14/2004 - 10:13 PM EST
Part 2:Hey Pete-15. What inspired the best song you ever wrote?The biggest liar I have ever met. 16. What is the single most beautiful thing you've ever witnessed in your life?One time a long time ago I woke up next to this girl and she was breathing perfect and her hair fell over her eyes just right- and then a second later she was just a girl again. Its kind of weird how we can all have these beautiful moments. Author Comment AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7129(12/14/04 2:15 pm)Reply 16.5 Pete, ask Patrick if I can pump his gas.Hahaha.17. If my cat is pregnant again, do you want a kitten? I gotta say im a dog person. Also, I cant even take care of a plant- I hate to see how bad I was at taking care of an animal.18. If you could walk a mile in someone else's shoes, who would it be and why?Walking is for suckers.ClaireHeartsFOBRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 2:39 pm)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------with christmas fast approaching --- 19. what was the best christmas gift you ever received one time my friend made a quilt for me out of all my old hardcore shirts. Its pretty awesome.20. best gift you ever got for someone else?One time I tricked a doctor into giving me an MRI and then I framed it and gave it to my friend, so they could have my insides.PunkrockrawksRegistered UserPosts: 5919(12/14/04 2:53 pm)Reply Re: power of pete------------------------------------------------------------------------(12/14/04 2:57 pm)Rawk OnRegistered UserPosts: 1622(12/14/04 3:01 pm)Reply Re: power of pete------------------------------------------------------------------------21. Why shouldn't Patrick think of white elephants? Psychologists use this to study people. If you tell someone not to think of a white elephant, usually that’s all they can think of- now that you know the trick it wont work.22. What do you think of the FOB board/boardies?The ones I have met I like.TITANr12 Registered UserPosts: 1204(12/14/04 3:06 pm)Reply ...------------------------------------------------------------------------23. In The Boy With the Thorn in his Side, does the boy represent you?I think it would be stupid to say that I didn’t write from somewhere inside me. I think he has pretty good intentions but is a pretty messed up guy- so I like to think he is inside a bunch of us.24. Do you read the board on a daily basis? on that noteIf a boardie were to come up to you and say "hey i'm so and so from the board" would be able to recognize the sn?Possibly. Its happened before. I definitely remember faces better than names.25. What is your greatest accomplishment other than "Fall Out Boy"?Being an allstate soccer player. Making it to age 25 and not be dead or in jail.AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7133(12/14/04 3:15 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------25.5 When are you going to write a Hanukkah song? I mean, we all love "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out", but what about all the snazzy Jews out there? They need a holiday song, too. Jews are snazzy, 4 out of 5 joes agree.AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7134(12/14/04 3:19 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------26. Do you prefer corn or green beans? Are you kidding me. Corn. justforgetmexRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 3:30 pm)Reply twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------um...ok.question:27. when you were writing "nobody puts baby in the corner" what were you thinking about at the time? as a whole band how did everyone re-act to the lyrics?I was thinking that I thought I had kind of come to terms with how I felt about someone and resolved my feelings when we wrote take this to your grave. But they just wouldn’t go away inside my head. And at the same time I guess, just how the people who hurt us are often just so irresistible that we keep going back. The line "can I lay in your bed all day and be your best kept secret and your worst mistake"- was actually something I said to someone and then wrote down as I lay in their bed and waited for them to come home. The band kind of lets me go wild with lyrics, on this song they could tell it was pretty angry- I guess. We get asked a lot if we are mysognists because of this song I think, but I want to put it on the table: you’re getting it wrong, we don’t hate girls, we hate everyone.falloutemogirlRegistered UserPosts: 41(12/14/04 3:31 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------PETER: 28. What are some of your favourite authors and books written by them?Chuck palahnuik, jt Leroy, Sharon olds, rohl dahl, albert camus, sorry for the misspellings and the lack of titles. I promise I will get back to this one, I think its important.x7 HugMeImEmo 2xRegistered UserPosts: 2218(12/14/04 5:17 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------29. Are you going to play "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" at the Christmas shows? I'll bring you cookies if you do!Yes. 30. Who makes you want to "la la"? Haha there are definitely a couple of people. Ashlee in the parking lot in the video definitely makes me want to lala- quinn from the used makes me want to lala- wait that’s a dude. Shoot. LetitG0Registered UserPosts: 1555(12/14/04 6:11 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------31. What is the biggest misconception people have of Fall Out Boy?I wish people could follow us around and see how it really goes. I don’t sleep with every single girl I talk to, we don’t talk shit on bands, we just have weird senses of humor, sean o’keefe didn’t write our last record, we don’t always get to pick where we tour or who we tour with, yes, patricks voice is really that good naturally, we’re not as big assholes as you read online- we’re pretty nice for the most part, if not alittle bit shy. Mostly we like to goof around with people.32. Would you rather, stay at the level you are now...or become as huge as Blink182 or Good Charlotte?I think you can do both like the cure did. I want as many people as possible to hear our music at the same time we will never compromise what we believe in or what we say.33. If you could have on animal constructed out of duct tape, what would it be...and why?Ah a sea lion.Broke HeartRegistered UserPosts: 30(12/14/04 7:35 pm)Reply question for pete...------------------------------------------------------------------------34. Whos your favorite story book character? Ferdinand the gentle bull, or max from where the wild things are, willy wonka.35. Does it bother you how people act like they really know you just because they've met you one time? Or that tons of prepubescent girls/boys want to trap you in a dark alley and molest you? Yes and no. I love meeting new people and have definitely been on that end of things where I wanted to know everything about someone and feel like I knew them. I feel like you can get to know us through our songs and seeing us at shows. And I think that we have met many people that I consider friends in our travels. At the same time it bothers me when people use it like "I know pete, blah are I the coolest"- trust me none of those people really know anyone. They are scared. Call their bluff. dark alley- very funny.
- petey
the questions and answers as promised. got up to 35. sorry for the mistakes alot of cutting and pasting went into this.thehopeyouhateRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 6:13 am)Reply twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------as requested by Pete from: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/pete.html1. If you were handed a camera and were allowed to take only four pictures. What are the four pictures that you would take? Patrick, joe, andy, and Korean tomcruise. Who am I kidding I couldn’t resist taking a hilarious pic of someones ass or dick. Probably my family, dogs, band, and maybe my room so I don’t forget anything ever. Good question.Summertime527Registered UserPosts: 1484(12/14/04 6:22 am)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------1.5 What's the best and worst thing about touring and being on the road?*~*Summer*~* summer. I want to answer this one cause you’re my buddy. But Patrick reminded me we answer it in interviews too much. So, im just saying hi instead. Haha.glorygirl Registered UserPosts: 241(12/14/04 7:29 am)Reply hhmm------------------------------------------------------------------------2. Ive always wanted to know... what band changed/saved your life and how?Minor threat first saved my life in the summer after my freshman year in highscool. All my friends were trashed all the time and that band let me know it was okay to not be like that. The next band to do that was unbroken- check out the record "life, love, regret" it got me through some of the worst nights I have ever had and introduced me to Morrissey. The last band to make me feel like that was saves the day- through being cool was like an anthem I would blast in my ears and hope everyone would just leave me alone. Ultimately it is fall out boy that saved my life. Doing this thing makes me feel alive in a way that I could never explain.3. Oh n this is dumb but how would you guys feel if a fan had killed themselves to your music?... I know its not "depressing" or anything but these things could happen. I would feel badly if anyone killed themselves to any music- because I know what its like to feel that alone and it is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. We have a line in a new song- "im sick of only writing songs for you to slit your wrists to". We need to try and see another side of life.kinkydorkRegistered UserPosts: 3156(12/14/04 9:07 am)Reply Re: hhmm------------------------------------------------------------------------4. how do you pronounce the word "alley" (spell phonetically)?I don’t know how to write it phonetically. I say it like an asshole from the Midwest.5. what have you been reading recently?I just read this weird version of a bunch of poe stuff. Ive been reading a lot of Camus, I just finished the stranger, which is an amazing book. If I had to recommend a book it would still be "the heart is deceitful above all other things" by jt Leroy.PunkrockrawksRegistered UserPosts: 59126. What in your life gives you the strength to keep following your dreams? (Especially when you were starting out and you had to deal with the people who were telling you it couldn't be done.)I don’t have anything else going for me. I don’t really ever think about what other people have to say about me- cause its usually either really good or really bad for all of the wrong reasons. It can blow up your head or sink your ego like a stone if you pay too much attention to it.Undecided- Registered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 9:51 am)Reply Twenty Questions------------------------------------------------------------------------So I stole this question from an English professor I had in college, but I find it to be pretty interesting and insightful:7. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could have only 1 book, 1 photograph, and 1 CD, what would they be and why? Id take a blank notebook as my book to write in, a photograph of my family from way back before I was this weird, and Morrissey "viva hate"Feldmeyer34Registered UserPosts: 10(12/14/04 9:54 am)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------8. Do you ever sick sick of waking up knowing that you have to be in the public eye? Is it weird to think that you have such a high influence on so many kids?Yes. Its scary sometimes- I just think about the way things get picked apart and if im having a bad day I can come off as one of the worst people. I don’t really want to ruin someone else’s life, im having too much fun ruining my own (note that sarcasm doesn’t come through on the internet) but yes it’s very weird to go from noone caring who you are to people wanting to know your every move.9. Do you like being from a small town?and Why? I love it. It gives me perspective- I think if we weren’t from a small town we wouldn’t have wanted "this" so badly. We wanted to break out so badly, to not marry the head cheerleader and mow our 15x 25 plots of grass- like so many kids from my highschool turned out.KimRegistered UserPosts: 429(12/14/04 10:33 am)Reply Re: 20 questions------------------------------------------------------------------------10. With all of the people who feel like they know you, through your music, your journals, and meeting you, do you ever feel exposed or like not much of your life is exclusively yours? Yes. But I also feel an obligation to be honest with people that are friends and fans. I want to show everyone what this process is like- so that’s a sacrifice I am willing to make.dinexdashedRegistered User Registered UserPosts: 3292(12/14/04 10:34 am)/04 10:59 am)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------11. if you could bring someone back from the dead for a day, who would it be, why, and what would you do all day?My aunt. So she and my mom could hang out all day.PoopMartinRegistered UserPosts: 232(12/14/04 12:52 pm)Reply Re: power of pete------------------------------------------------------------------------12. Why does your 'mom' think you are over stimulated?Haha. Because she thinks im weird and jumpy.12.5 favourite porn film? and does it contain goat sex?Favorite, come on be awesome like us yanks.AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7128(12/14/04 1:58 pm)Reply 13. Do you preheat the oven? (Although this seems like a stupid question, it isn't.. or maybe it is. It doesn't matter.)Is this question about sex?14. You guys will be huge one day, and most likely get tons of play on MTV. How will you (or do you) prepare yourself for such stardom? And how will you react when you find out that kids are going around pulling grass out of your parent's yard exclaiming "OMG! Pete totally mowed this yard when he was younger! He so walked on this sidewalk!! Oh my god, I think I'm gonna die!" I never mowed the lawn, who told you that dirty lie.TorrieRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 2:07 pm)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey Pete-15. What inspired the best song you ever wrote?The biggest liar I have ever met. 16. What is the single most beautiful thing you've ever witnessed in your life?One time a long time ago I woke up next to this girl and she was breathing perfect and her hair fell over her eyes just right- and then a second later she was just a girl again. Its kind of weird how we can all have these beautiful moments. Author Comment AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7129(12/14/04 2:15 pm)Reply 16.5 Pete, ask Patrick if I can pump his gas.Hahaha.17. If my cat is pregnant again, do you want a kitten? I gotta say im a dog person. Also, I cant even take care of a plant- I hate to see how bad I was at taking care of an animal.18. If you could walk a mile in someone else's shoes, who would it be and why?Walking is for suckers.ClaireHeartsFOBRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 2:39 pm)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------with christmas fast approaching --- 19. what was the best christmas gift you ever received one time my friend made a quilt for me out of all my old hardcore shirts. Its pretty awesome.20. best gift you ever got for someone else?One time I tricked a doctor into giving me an MRI and then I framed it and gave it to my friend, so they could have my insides.PunkrockrawksRegistered UserPosts: 5919(12/14/04 2:53 pm)Reply Re: power of pete------------------------------------------------------------------------(12/14/04 2:57 pm)Rawk OnRegistered UserPosts: 1622(12/14/04 3:01 pm)Reply Re: power of pete------------------------------------------------------------------------21. Why shouldn't Patrick think of white elephants? Psychologists use this to study people. If you tell someone not to think of a white elephant, usually that’s all they can think of- now that you know the trick it wont work.22. What do you think of the FOB board/boardies?The ones I have met I like.TITANr12 Registered UserPosts: 1204(12/14/04 3:06 pm)Reply ...------------------------------------------------------------------------23. In The Boy With the Thorn in his Side, does the boy represent you?I think it would be stupid to say that I didn’t write from somewhere inside me. I think he has pretty good intentions but is a pretty messed up guy- so I like to think he is inside a bunch of us.24. Do you read the board on a daily basis? on that noteIf a boardie were to come up to you and say "hey i'm so and so from the board" would be able to recognize the sn?Possibly. Its happened before. I definitely remember faces better than names.25. What is your greatest accomplishment other than "Fall Out Boy"?Being an allstate soccer player. Making it to age 25 and not be dead or in jail.AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7133(12/14/04 3:15 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------25.5 When are you going to write a Hanukkah song? I mean, we all love "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out", but what about all the snazzy Jews out there? They need a holiday song, too. Jews are snazzy, 4 out of 5 joes agree.AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7134(12/14/04 3:19 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------26. Do you prefer corn or green beans? Are you kidding me. Corn. justforgetmexRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 3:30 pm)Reply twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------um...ok.question:27. when you were writing "nobody puts baby in the corner" what were you thinking about at the time? as a whole band how did everyone re-act to the lyrics?I was thinking that I thought I had kind of come to terms with how I felt about someone and resolved my feelings when we wrote take this to your grave. But they just wouldn’t go away inside my head. And at the same time I guess, just how the people who hurt us are often just so irresistible that we keep going back. The line "can I lay in your bed all day and be your best kept secret and your worst mistake"- was actually something I said to someone and then wrote down as I lay in their bed and waited for them to come home. The band kind of lets me go wild with lyrics, on this song they could tell it was pretty angry- I guess. We get asked a lot if we are mysognists because of this song I think, but I want to put it on the table: you’re getting it wrong, we don’t hate girls, we hate everyone.falloutemogirlRegistered UserPosts: 41(12/14/04 3:31 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------PETER: 28. What are some of your favourite authors and books written by them?Chuck palahnuik, jt Leroy, Sharon olds, rohl dahl, albert camus, sorry for the misspellings and the lack of titles. I promise I will get back to this one, I think its important.x7 HugMeImEmo 2xRegistered UserPosts: 2218(12/14/04 5:17 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------29. Are you going to play "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" at the Christmas shows? I'll bring you cookies if you do!Yes. 30. Who makes you want to "la la"? Haha there are definitely a couple of people. Ashlee in the parking lot in the video definitely makes me want to lala- quinn from the used makes me want to lala- wait that’s a dude. Shoot. LetitG0Registered UserPosts: 1555(12/14/04 6:11 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------31. What is the biggest misconception people have of Fall Out Boy?I wish people could follow us around and see how it really goes. I don’t sleep with every single girl I talk to, we don’t talk shit on bands, we just have weird senses of humor, sean o’keefe didn’t write our last record, we don’t always get to pick where we tour or who we tour with, yes, patricks voice is really that good naturally, we’re not as big assholes as you read online- we’re pretty nice for the most part, if not alittle bit shy. Mostly we like to goof around with people.32. Would you rather, stay at the level you are now...or become as huge as Blink182 or Good Charlotte?I think you can do both like the cure did. I want as many people as possible to hear our music at the same time we will never compromise what we believe in or what we say.33. If you could have on animal constructed out of duct tape, what would it be...and why?Ah a sea lion.Broke HeartRegistered UserPosts: 30(12/14/04 7:35 pm)Reply question for pete...------------------------------------------------------------------------34. Whos your favorite story book character? Ferdinand the gentle bull, or max from where the wild things are, willy wonka.35. Does it bother you how people act like they really know you just because they've met you one time? Or that tons of prepubescent girls/boys want to trap you in a dark alley and molest you? Yes and no. I love meeting new people and have definitely been on that end of things where I wanted to know everything about someone and feel like I knew them. I feel like you can get to know us through our songs and seeing us at shows. And I think that we have met many people that I consider friends in our travels. At the same time it bothers me when people use it like "I know pete, blah are I the coolest"- trust me none of those people really know anyone. They are scared. Call their bluff. dark alley- very funny.
- petey
the questions and answers as promised. got up to 35. sorry for the mistakes alot of cutting and pasting went into this.thehopeyouhateRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 6:13 am)Reply twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------as requested by Pete from: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/pete.html1. If you were handed a camera and were allowed to take only four pictures. What are the four pictures that you would take? Patrick, joe, andy, and Korean tomcruise. Who am I kidding I couldn’t resist taking a hilarious pic of someones ass or dick. Probably my family, dogs, band, and maybe my room so I don’t forget anything ever. Good question.Summertime527Registered UserPosts: 1484(12/14/04 6:22 am)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------1.5 What's the best and worst thing about touring and being on the road?*~*Summer*~* summer. I want to answer this one cause you’re my buddy. But Patrick reminded me we answer it in interviews too much. So, im just saying hi instead. Haha.glorygirl Registered UserPosts: 241(12/14/04 7:29 am)Reply hhmm------------------------------------------------------------------------2. Ive always wanted to know... what band changed/saved your life and how?Minor threat first saved my life in the summer after my freshman year in highscool. All my friends were trashed all the time and that band let me know it was okay to not be like that. The next band to do that was unbroken- check out the record "life, love, regret" it got me through some of the worst nights I have ever had and introduced me to Morrissey. The last band to make me feel like that was saves the day- through being cool was like an anthem I would blast in my ears and hope everyone would just leave me alone. Ultimately it is fall out boy that saved my life. Doing this thing makes me feel alive in a way that I could never explain.3. Oh n this is dumb but how would you guys feel if a fan had killed themselves to your music?... I know its not "depressing" or anything but these things could happen. I would feel badly if anyone killed themselves to any music- because I know what its like to feel that alone and it is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. We have a line in a new song- "im sick of only writing songs for you to slit your wrists to". We need to try and see another side of life.kinkydorkRegistered UserPosts: 3156(12/14/04 9:07 am)Reply Re: hhmm------------------------------------------------------------------------4. how do you pronounce the word "alley" (spell phonetically)?I don’t know how to write it phonetically. I say it like an asshole from the Midwest.5. what have you been reading recently?I just read this weird version of a bunch of poe stuff. Ive been reading a lot of Camus, I just finished the stranger, which is an amazing book. If I had to recommend a book it would still be "the heart is deceitful above all other things" by jt Leroy.PunkrockrawksRegistered UserPosts: 59126. What in your life gives you the strength to keep following your dreams? (Especially when you were starting out and you had to deal with the people who were telling you it couldn't be done.)I don’t have anything else going for me. I don’t really ever think about what other people have to say about me- cause its usually either really good or really bad for all of the wrong reasons. It can blow up your head or sink your ego like a stone if you pay too much attention to it.Undecided- Registered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 9:51 am)Reply Twenty Questions------------------------------------------------------------------------So I stole this question from an English professor I had in college, but I find it to be pretty interesting and insightful:7. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could have only 1 book, 1 photograph, and 1 CD, what would they be and why? Id take a blank notebook as my book to write in, a photograph of my family from way back before I was this weird, and Morrissey "viva hate"Feldmeyer34Registered UserPosts: 10(12/14/04 9:54 am)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------8. Do you ever sick sick of waking up knowing that you have to be in the public eye? Is it weird to think that you have such a high influence on so many kids?Yes. Its scary sometimes- I just think about the way things get picked apart and if im having a bad day I can come off as one of the worst people. I don’t really want to ruin someone else’s life, im having too much fun ruining my own (note that sarcasm doesn’t come through on the internet) but yes it’s very weird to go from noone caring who you are to people wanting to know your every move.9. Do you like being from a small town?and Why? I love it. It gives me perspective- I think if we weren’t from a small town we wouldn’t have wanted "this" so badly. We wanted to break out so badly, to not marry the head cheerleader and mow our 15x 25 plots of grass- like so many kids from my highschool turned out.KimRegistered UserPosts: 429(12/14/04 10:33 am)Reply Re: 20 questions------------------------------------------------------------------------10. With all of the people who feel like they know you, through your music, your journals, and meeting you, do you ever feel exposed or like not much of your life is exclusively yours? Yes. But I also feel an obligation to be honest with people that are friends and fans. I want to show everyone what this process is like- so that’s a sacrifice I am willing to make.dinexdashedRegistered User Registered UserPosts: 3292(12/14/04 10:34 am)/04 10:59 am)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------11. if you could bring someone back from the dead for a day, who would it be, why, and what would you do all day?My aunt. So she and my mom could hang out all day.PoopMartinRegistered UserPosts: 232(12/14/04 12:52 pm)Reply Re: power of pete------------------------------------------------------------------------12. Why does your 'mom' think you are over stimulated?Haha. Because she thinks im weird and jumpy.12.5 favourite porn film? and does it contain goat sex?Favorite, come on be awesome like us yanks.AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7128(12/14/04 1:58 pm)Reply 13. Do you preheat the oven? (Although this seems like a stupid question, it isn't.. or maybe it is. It doesn't matter.)Is this question about sex?14. You guys will be huge one day, and most likely get tons of play on MTV. How will you (or do you) prepare yourself for such stardom? And how will you react when you find out that kids are going around pulling grass out of your parent's yard exclaiming "OMG! Pete totally mowed this yard when he was younger! He so walked on this sidewalk!! Oh my god, I think I'm gonna die!" I never mowed the lawn, who told you that dirty lie.TorrieRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 2:07 pm)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey Pete-15. What inspired the best song you ever wrote?The biggest liar I have ever met. 16. What is the single most beautiful thing you've ever witnessed in your life?One time a long time ago I woke up next to this girl and she was breathing perfect and her hair fell over her eyes just right- and then a second later she was just a girl again. Its kind of weird how we can all have these beautiful moments. Author Comment AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7129(12/14/04 2:15 pm)Reply 16.5 Pete, ask Patrick if I can pump his gas.Hahaha.17. If my cat is pregnant again, do you want a kitten? I gotta say im a dog person. Also, I cant even take care of a plant- I hate to see how bad I was at taking care of an animal.18. If you could walk a mile in someone else's shoes, who would it be and why?Walking is for suckers.ClaireHeartsFOBRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 2:39 pm)Reply Re: twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------with christmas fast approaching --- 19. what was the best christmas gift you ever received one time my friend made a quilt for me out of all my old hardcore shirts. Its pretty awesome.20. best gift you ever got for someone else?One time I tricked a doctor into giving me an MRI and then I framed it and gave it to my friend, so they could have my insides.PunkrockrawksRegistered UserPosts: 5919(12/14/04 2:53 pm)Reply Re: power of pete------------------------------------------------------------------------(12/14/04 2:57 pm)Rawk OnRegistered UserPosts: 1622(12/14/04 3:01 pm)Reply Re: power of pete------------------------------------------------------------------------21. Why shouldn't Patrick think of white elephants? Psychologists use this to study people. If you tell someone not to think of a white elephant, usually that’s all they can think of- now that you know the trick it wont work.22. What do you think of the FOB board/boardies?The ones I have met I like.TITANr12 Registered UserPosts: 1204(12/14/04 3:06 pm)Reply ...------------------------------------------------------------------------23. In The Boy With the Thorn in his Side, does the boy represent you?I think it would be stupid to say that I didn’t write from somewhere inside me. I think he has pretty good intentions but is a pretty messed up guy- so I like to think he is inside a bunch of us.24. Do you read the board on a daily basis? on that noteIf a boardie were to come up to you and say "hey i'm so and so from the board" would be able to recognize the sn?Possibly. Its happened before. I definitely remember faces better than names.25. What is your greatest accomplishment other than "Fall Out Boy"?Being an allstate soccer player. Making it to age 25 and not be dead or in jail.AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7133(12/14/04 3:15 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------25.5 When are you going to write a Hanukkah song? I mean, we all love "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out", but what about all the snazzy Jews out there? They need a holiday song, too. Jews are snazzy, 4 out of 5 joes agree.AshleysGirl Registered UserPosts: 7134(12/14/04 3:19 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------26. Do you prefer corn or green beans? Are you kidding me. Corn. justforgetmexRegistered UserPosts: 1(12/14/04 3:30 pm)Reply twenty questions------------------------------------------------------------------------um...ok.question:27. when you were writing "nobody puts baby in the corner" what were you thinking about at the time? as a whole band how did everyone re-act to the lyrics?I was thinking that I thought I had kind of come to terms with how I felt about someone and resolved my feelings when we wrote take this to your grave. But they just wouldn’t go away inside my head. And at the same time I guess, just how the people who hurt us are often just so irresistible that we keep going back. The line "can I lay in your bed all day and be your best kept secret and your worst mistake"- was actually something I said to someone and then wrote down as I lay in their bed and waited for them to come home. The band kind of lets me go wild with lyrics, on this song they could tell it was pretty angry- I guess. We get asked a lot if we are mysognists because of this song I think, but I want to put it on the table: you’re getting it wrong, we don’t hate girls, we hate everyone.falloutemogirlRegistered UserPosts: 41(12/14/04 3:31 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------PETER: 28. What are some of your favourite authors and books written by them?Chuck palahnuik, jt Leroy, Sharon olds, rohl dahl, albert camus, sorry for the misspellings and the lack of titles. I promise I will get back to this one, I think its important.x7 HugMeImEmo 2xRegistered UserPosts: 2218(12/14/04 5:17 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------29. Are you going to play "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" at the Christmas shows? I'll bring you cookies if you do!Yes. 30. Who makes you want to "la la"? Haha there are definitely a couple of people. Ashlee in the parking lot in the video definitely makes me want to lala- quinn from the used makes me want to lala- wait that’s a dude. Shoot. LetitG0Registered UserPosts: 1555(12/14/04 6:11 pm)Reply Re: ...------------------------------------------------------------------------31. What is the biggest misconception people have of Fall Out Boy?I wish people could follow us around and see how it really goes. I don’t sleep with every single girl I talk to, we don’t talk shit on bands, we just have weird senses of humor, sean o’keefe didn’t write our last record, we don’t always get to pick where we tour or who we tour with, yes, patricks voice is really that good naturally, we’re not as big assholes as you read online- we’re pretty nice for the most part, if not alittle bit shy. Mostly we like to goof around with people.32. Would you rather, stay at the level you are now...or become as huge as Blink182 or Good Charlotte?I think you can do both like the cure did. I want as many people as possible to hear our music at the same time we will never compromise what we believe in or what we say.33. If you could have on animal constructed out of duct tape, what would it be...and why?Ah a sea lion.Broke HeartRegistered UserPosts: 30(12/14/04 7:35 pm)Reply question for pete...------------------------------------------------------------------------34. Whos your favorite story book character? Ferdinand the gentle bull, or max from where the wild things are, willy wonka.35. Does it bother you how people act like they really know you just because they've met you one time? Or that tons of prepubescent girls/boys want to trap you in a dark alley and molest you? Yes and no. I love meeting new people and have definitely been on that end of things where I wanted to know everything about someone and feel like I knew them. I feel like you can get to know us through our songs and seeing us at shows. And I think that we have met many people that I consider friends in our travels. At the same time it bothers me when people use it like "I know pete, blah are I the coolest"- trust me none of those people really know anyone. They are scared. Call their bluff. dark alley- very funny.
- petey
my parents just left. its weird. i was homesick and then home came to me. but now i think i'm gonna feel worse with them being gone. i feel like i'd be so lost without them. it kind of makes my lungs feel too small when i think about life without them. i've been thinking alot about life lately and just all of the mistakes i've collected over the years. just how i'm so sick of falling back on them. i dropped my flaws in the mail with no return address. go easy. i'm gonna try and do it right this time. i think i like this music for real: www.christopherstrange.com -okay so ive read some pretty hilarious things on the internet about us- actually made me fall out of my seat laughing. so i want to play a game with you. if you read this and have ever wondered anything about fall out boy or any of us, post it on our messageboard under a post called: twenty questions. and i will get them answered for you. no mean or stupid ones are getting answered (ie, why is pete so gay or how come patricks voice is so good), anything else is game. when it hits twenty good ones i will answer them in here.peter
- petey
12/12/2004 - 5:14 AM EST
urgent update: life aquatic is the best movie of the year.watch it. change the way you think.
- petey
12/10/2004 - 6:22 AM EST
los angeles is funny but not like laughing, more like lonely.we crashed some hilarious spin magazine party with the all american rejects.it was full of bad hair cuts and worse tattoos. it made me glad to be from a small town but at the same time intrigued enough to watch it all go down.me and lindsay lohan are sick of the gossip and scandals.
- petey
11/26/2004 - 2:06 AM EST
their eyes are like pills. its funny. the blue ones take to you down. the brown ones pick you up. it doesn't even make a whole lot of sense looking back on it now. there are a couple of sets of eyes that are like bookmarks in life. they are there to mark the chapters. highlights so you pay attention to the changes. dogeared pages. the way she looked at me the first time- all the blood ran out of me. with the biggest eyes. that trusted and believed and dreamed and hoped and lived. so i blinked. i faked like i couldnt tell. i was always so goddamned scared to see my own flaws reflected on them. and i cant count the times i crushed them. and you realize that they will never look up at you the same.i cant blame you for giving up on me.join the club.i have a lifetime membership.
- petey
10/28/2004 - 3:58 AM EST
You know the funny thing is I already know how its gonna turn out. Get the book: www.clandestineindustries.com
- petey
10/8/2004 - 1:49 AM EST
"atlanta to san jose"The first thing I ever knew about her was a lie. Her lips curl when she’s talking about the "Q". her middle name is "Q" she says.but it’s not. She’s regular. She’s normal just like me. But Her lips still curl when she is hoping she isn’t caught.Except she always is.She reminds me of the anecdote about the lab rat who chose the intense pleasure button over the food button. He probably starved to death. But I’m sure he’s reliving the glory days up in rat heaven. I call her up to tell her to build me a model scale version of San Francisco because I have a great idea for a disaster.She must be on the internet because the phone just keeps ringing. Right now I want to shoot every single fucking employee at Earthlink.What do overweight Ethiopians, free money, the tooth fairy- and Q as a middle name have in common?Liar.I hate how I can’t stop thinking about the liar.Freud says love is the sublimation of sexual impulses.I say we are all lab rats. And consider this a failed experiment.He says we sublimate our sexual desires to make them palatable to society.This is what love is.I say this must be a clinical trial.And I am the control.She is the "Stockholm Effect"- you know back in the seventies when victims fell in love with their kidnappers.Yeah. She’s mostly like that.She is the middle parts of Great Expectations. You know right before things go really wrong for Pip (and This wouldn’t be my story if I weren’t Pip).God, I love victim culture.I love Jeffrey Dahmer being a victim of society.I love Patty Hearst. I love the "Stockholm Effect".The great victims of our culture. Aren’t we all?Sexuality was first examined scientifically in the 19th century. Before that religion fielded all questions.That didn’t work so well.Love was not examined scientifically until the late 20th century.Erich Fromm suggested that infatuation was a plan by Mother Nature to promote the survival of the species. See with out infatuation cave men would never have overcome the fear of interacting and eventually having sex with other clans. Thus ensuring the survival of the species.This is what is commonly considered a breakthrough. Freud is spinning in his grave.Our extinction is a Hallmark card away.He later suggests that in order to love someone else one must love themselves. A classic "needs before other needs" argument.Unfortunately, no one really loves themselves. And if they do, they need to get to know themselves better. Unfortunately, no one is really happy. So, let’s be unhappy together.I call her up to tell her to build a mini version of San Jose for me to devastate.Her roommate tells me she is on the phone long-distance with her aunt. I want to kill every member of her extended family.Phenylethylamine (PEA), the chemical responsible for the swooning and feelings of adoration, is structurally similar to cocaine. Most people choose cocaine over love when given the chance. I wouldn’t say that’s a bad choice. The endorphins released during infatuation are similar to heroin; only they don’t make you skinny and pale. Oxytocin, "the cuddling hormone" most often found in new mothers and newlyweds, are like ecstasy- every touch feels a bit tinglier. Love exists in a bottle. In a syringe. I want mine diluted with water.Most people would choose gambling over love when given the chance. We are the rat.Most people choose pornography over love when given the chance. We are the cave-man.Hallmark cards and boxes of Fanny-May chocolates will save humanity.It’s all in the marketing. Kellogg and the original Graham Cracker originally marketed their products as a way to stifle teenage masturbationI call her up to go over the blue prints for a miniature Atlanta because I crave catastrophe.Her answering machine picks up. Right now I hate her voice.It reminds me of how much I think about her.She is the fraud. The faker. I can’t stop thinking about her.I miss her lips curling with those lies.I miss her body- See, she has a body that will go to the pornstar retirement home in her golden years- or prostitute heaven. to my favorite liar: you were always/never just a line in a song.
- petey
9/2/2004 - 8:06 PM EST
noone ever fell in love with anyone because of empty pockets or red splotched eyes. drove around for hours tonight just to keep myself from feeling anchored. weighed down. to keep my mind off thinking about what kids like me deserve. desperation isnt a strong enough word (but it will have to do). my wrists are only black and blue cause i don’t got the balls. nothing gets you ready to have every single word dissected and put under a microscope. i got ringing in my ears but none on my fingers. i got sunsets in the veins on my wrists. we’re not just falling in love anymore, we’re demanding it. im the latest bloomer (dried out my wet dreams and saved them for a rainy day). i can still see you standing on my front porch- slowed my own thoughts down to a single blade of grass. you couldnt catch my eye cause i was too busy rolling them. the buttons on one side of your coat that wouldnt snap on the other side. they were just for fashion not for function you told me. you were pretty for a boy. it made me laugh when i thought of it, im sorry i wasnt laughing at what you were saying. it makes me laugh still- when im driving around for hours at night. id love to swerve off and blame it on the fog, but ive been talking on these roads too much lately. theyd spill all my secrets. this city won’t let me go. im sure theyd lock me up somewhere if anyone saw me at 23 sneaking into cemetaries. taking pills to make me feel okay sleeping in the grass just above you. the sirens find me at the first light. my lips cracked and dried from the tears, i'll probably die a cliche. flash the lights to kissing boys. provocative. i promise you i wont ever have another afternoon like when we used to sneak out of school and drive the lakeshore. noone will ever sound as cool as you. we built cool. we made up style. we set the standard and theyre all just trying to live up to it. if theres nobody who thinks like us anymore. untouchable is unlovable. you always have me humming in my head just out of key. i bought an alarm clock just so i could hit the snooze button. whats the point in getting out of bed anymore if you only get out to say you did. if you could love the biggest fraud or the best liar- then im your prince. i was made just for fashion not for function.
- petey
8/9/2004 - 2:55 AM EST
for all the trophy boys and sleep over princes - for all the bruised thighs and smokedout eyes:i am a zombie who doesn’t want to live, a corpse bored with my own funeral. we live like gypsies only with less gold and maybe more curses. people say you can’t run away from your problems (we are the problem). well thats just shit. cause i’ve spent 20 years on the run and i can’t remember most of the problems that started this (maybe thats been the problem all along). it’s funny. you become a different person when you don’t have a home. you take for granted sleeping in the same bed, looking at the same clocks, waking up with a rug underneath your feet. the world looks different from the back of a van- and rest stops and hardwood floors. we are ghosts with addresses in ghost towns. no matter how much you clean yourself, your clothes and your pillow it never really gets clean, neither does your memory. it never lets go of that smokey, cold/wet feeling. if there was a word for what i am looking for right now it would definitely sound like her name. at some point you wanted her innocence for your own. to breathe in every single breath that she breathed out, to taste her spit- to feel how she feels to fall asleep next to you and to be let down for the first time. when i leave could you please say your sheets would never be the same and that maybe you even missed my smell just a little bit?
- petey
7/30/2004 - 7:26 PM EST
after awhile when you bounce back and forth between different hearts nothing gets old. you never really have to mean anything to anyone. i have intimacy problems with the world. her eyes are blackened around the edges so much that she looks like a racoon. they look like permenant black eyes- the consumate victim. everybody loves the victim. he can’t put his finger on what it reminds him of but the closest he can come are old zombie movies. she’s made-up to look half dead- which still beats most of them who are just half-alive anyway. her hair looked like rows of shark teeth dyed over dye jobs like she was running away from her natural color. noone wants to be what they are. she looks independent in a very vulnerable way. the safest kind of dangerous. we drove around the city so she could alternate between cigarettes and coffee. we talk about the kids we hate just so we have something to agree about. they used to be just like us. we’re sitting on the edge of her bed. every single inch on your body is filled with millions of nerves. somewhere inside your brain neurons have fired to synapses and put them on alert. when your hands brush hers it feels electric. every movement has a meaning, either yes or no. its getting later and later. the conversation and the possibilities are running out. last call. this is a war. everytime she moves her hand to her hair she is sending you signals. stay or leave. why can’t you figure them out. don’t strike first. wait until you are tired enough to make a move. lean in to kiss her bringing an awkward break in conversation. as you pull back she keeps talking about writers and bands she thinks will make her look cooler. but your fooled if only because you are worried she has found you out. push your tongue into her mouth too keep the right words from spilling out. her sheets smell like stale cigarettes smoked by boys who were me on nights before. she has a body that is built for sex. the kind a kid like me wouldn’t know what to do with if we had half the chance. imagine the chemistry of swallowed DNA. she has a scar that runs down her back right along the spine, like somebody tried to steal it. i joked her like this: "someone must have ignored the blue prints, look at all the structural damage". but i stuttered and trailed off. the smoke curled off of her lips. for a second i was dying to be it. dying to be as clever and kissable as her. there she was sitting in front of me, knee pulled up to to her chin. smoking a cigarrette thinking of something or someone else. and thats how she will be stuck in my mind forever. two explorers in the dark, mapless and hopeless. alone together. its funny how easy it is to sleep with someone, but how hard it is to sleep next to someone. it’s too intimate. it makes my heartbeat race and pound inside my head. it is deafening. i slide my arm from behind her head and slip out the door. the pavement on the sidewalk is watching me go over every moment in my head. it’s watching me remember you. mistake by mistake. frame by frame. we’re not just taking trips down memory lane, we are broken down on it.
- petey
7/18/2004 - 6:33 PM EST
A lot of people have been asking for this. Here's a bit from our new song- we don't take hits, we write them.... Find myself on the street out in front of your house so you can kiss safe thoughts good bye. I'm coming up to break your heart. You're sleeping with the light on like you're dying to be found out.I need to take a break from the internet for awhile. I think you're getting to me love.
- petey
7/16/2004 - 4:12 AM EST
There's a part of me that thinks that things might turn out alright. But there's another part that hopes you didn't leave your hotel key between pages of the bible iin the drawer.
- petey
7/15/2004 - 8:42 PM EST
its been awhile. i apologize. i can't say i haven't missed you. i need to write more. i think i start to lose it otherwise.sometimes it all just feels so fucking on. if you don't get that, i'm sorry i cant explain it. seeing this country in the summer in a van leaves me breathless. get off the computer and go out and fall in love with someone or something.you gotta know you have my heart.
- petey
6/29/2004 - 5:28 AM EST
sorry that picture was huge. try this one instead. i am gonna be dying my hair black when i get back to the states caused i am sick of making pillows red. its been a really great time over here... dont mistake my arrogance for shyness or the other way around. i cant wait to get back out and touring again in the states. thats what feels like home to me- i know i can be hard to understand and deal with at times, so thanks for putting up with me.please dont hate me INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/CIMG0048.JPG" \* MERGEFORMATINET did you expect us to just roll over and die. your mouth is writing checks your heart cant cash.i miss you guys so muchpeter
- petey
6/27/2004 - 12:53 PM EST
im in japan. its real late at night. why would anyone in japan like my band? clandestine- the story is almost done, the release the bats dvd is gonna drop this fally. funny stuff. someone please send me a torch and some faith, cause i just cant see.peter
- petey
6/17/2004 - 4:30 AM EST
I'm living proof that there such thing as too much of a good thing. The kiss (off) of fame. You can't measure me cause I'm only lying (yeah I left out that part) "I've given up on all that stuff" to get youu back in bed. Oh yeah and how about how you steal all these words from my teeth and fingers and call them yours (yeah you left out that part) and then have the heart to accuse me. That thing aint beating in your chest, its counting down. The spotlights your only home but don't get too comfortable. Its almost too perfect. Too voyeuristic as I watch you go down. Too good to be true.Cover of ap: www.livejournal.com/~askheychris
- petey
6/2/2004 - 3:22 AM EST
getting ready for tour. threw down some some vocals on the new rise against record. it sounds pretty good. talked about doing a rise against, spitalfield, fob chicago show. it would be like old times.the truth is i am going to miss you so much more than i could ever let on.
- petey
5/23/2004 - 10:55 AM EST
Status report: played at some schools definitely a very different experience. Got to meet a lot of new kids. Highlight: kindergardeners ask way better questions than any interview. Instore: just wanted to give kids around us a free show. I think it worked out okay. HFS: 11 hour drive ends up taking 16 or 17 hours. No sleep. Definitely over 90 degrees. The set was a blast. Lots more kids sang with us than we expected. Namedrop: got to hang with tbs, new found, stars hide fire, and hazen st. - the bands were amazing. I think jayz definitely had everyone beat though. He is the biggest thing on the fucking planet. Slept at the hotel. Back home to work on some demos. Total fan moment: Saw robert smith in the elevator.I could definitely die happy today. I am only writing this so you can read that you are my favorite person on the planet.
- petey
5/17/2004 - 3:59 PM EST
ahhh. back from the blink tour. had a blast. thanks for the zillions of emails about the pictures. you guys are amazing. i think i've got it figured out and will do my best to get up a pic of hey chris eating a banana creampie out of drews ass. ill write more later.
- petey
5/7/2004 - 1:17 PM EST
ahhh. i am sleepy. just got up. gonna go to the throwdown show tonight. just ordered a bunch of merch for our headline tour. it looks pretty rad. tommorrow is the photoshoot for the ap cover. i'm nervous. i realize i only really post in here when i have pictures to post. i'll try to be better. sorry the pictures are always so big. i don't know how to do it right (more than juts pictures trust me). email me if you can help: clanindustries@aol.comgot a new tattoo of the Clandestine Bartskull on my stomach- sorry i had to take down the pictures they were taking up too much room. as soon as i figure it out i will get some back up."say yes say yes say yes say yes"
- petey
4/26/2004 - 5:26 PM EST
so much has been going on. my head has been moving too fast, i can't catch up. clandestineindustries.com is up.i've got a picture from skate and surf in new jersey. we will have more soon, excuse the quality. you can see how insane this room was. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/CIMG0035.JPG" \* MERGEFORMATINET 
- petey
4/15/2004 - 4:15 AM EST
hey jerks. i got bored and dyed my hair red and black- oooh scary. when i am home i only wear sweatpants and don't shave. here's a look into the life of a loser:make me say ugh nahnahnahnah INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/pete1.jpg" \* MERGEFORMATINET there's that quarterback smile we all hate INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/pete2.jpg" \* MERGEFORMATINET born to lose INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/pete%203.jpg" \* MERGEFORMATINET pretty emo bro, you could use this one to score on live journal INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/pete%204.jpg" \* MERGEFORMATINET and here's the after shaved and ready to do some stagedives. new jersey or bust. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/pete%205.jpg" \* MERGEFORMATINET this may in fact be photo evidence that i am gay INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/pete%206.jpg" \* MERGEFORMATINET now that we have that out of the way. the full clandestine site should launch on april 22. we'll be selling some gear at skateandsurf and at a couple of these shows on the way out. tour never ends. for real go and listen to my friend ben's band, it's called Not Enough Gold. they smoke. our tour this summer is gonna be called "believers never die" get into it. sorry for all the pictures, this ain't my space biatch, send me some.1 2 3 L U V!
- petey
4/14/2004 - 4:22 PM EST
i just wanted to welcome the academy to the family. it's cool cause i've seen these guys go from the beginning and now we're here....
- petey
3/31/2004 - 4:03 PM EST
You can live with me in this house I built with writers blocks. I finished writing the clandestine story. I think its okay, now my friend tim beidron has to finish drawing it. Florida was amazing. Saw lots of old faces. Do you ever think sometimes you can't wait to be years away from now and content and succesful and done with all the turbulence? I do. Goodbless repeat play on my stereo.
- petey
3/23/2004 - 12:20 PM EST
Let me start this by saying people who need prefaces are those unsure, halfway there- arguments can't stand on there own (neither can we). In writing rules exist but are never followed. That is my preface. What you are going to read won't make sense but this preemptive paragraph makes that okay (because I know it). I'm not the kind of kid who believes in god or luck. But I somehow always find myself dropping prayers on takeoffs on airplanes and dodging cracks in the sidewalk. I'm not the kind of kid who believes in much of anything anymore. Just in feeding this paper and phonereciever lies (its always hungry for more). Yes, this is my subtle way of saying I'm sorry or I don't care anymore. To me love can be figured out like card counting, you always take cards on 11s (the house always wins). I wouldn't have anything to write if I wasn't dealt such bad hands. This keyboard covers the stuttering well. Break a name, drop a heart. Its all the same.Don't believe a word. Iin my moind me and you are so far away all the time.Don't get me wrong.I am honestly having the time of my life.I just want to sink to the bottom with you.
- petey
3/17/2004 - 8:55 AM EST
here is the soundtrack to us falling in love:the academy- ep- dont sleep they are gonna be hugejoy division- she's lost controlelectronic- the old onekent- velvetbane- "can we start again?"the weakerthanscarcass- only post heartworkjune- sick and underrated chicago bandi know you might roll your eyes at this but i'm so glad that you exist.dear america, see you in a couple of days.
- petey
3/13/2004 - 6:55 AM EST
lovers.england is amazing. its so strange to hear our words coming out of mouths across an ocean. we have been able to hang out with some bands over here that we have not crossed paths with in the states and have talked about doing tours with them, the fight and senses fail (i can drop hearts as easy as you drop names). we've been writing a bunch of new stuff since we have been over here, i hope you get to hear it soon. the chocolate here is sex everything else is not quite as sex. we are sharing a bus with the god awfuls- they are loud and funny. new morrissey record is gonna be hot. you are the quarry. HYPERLINK "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/Scanned%20Photo-6.tiff" me being sleepy in england HYPERLINK "http://www.fueledbyramen.com/journal/Scanned%20Photo-1.tiff" right off the bus looking for cherry cokes and the internet, lazy bones.i can't wait to kiss you on the mouth.
- petey
3/2/2004 - 6:23 PM EST
"And the oldest movie I ever saw was the one we wrote together..." So I know I wrote about it already. But the dvd is turning out brilliantly. I guess there was a reason to film all of that footage early on (we can laugh now). It makes me so happy to see these kids in my band and how I don't think I could share a stage with anyone else (we'll make you fall in love too). The artwork looks insane too, it is comprised of valentines form the 1930s its so sad yet romantic (aren't we all). Anyway. Getting ready for europe. Want me to sneak you in my bag?
- petey
2/24/2004 - 4:16 PM EST
I promise I will write something real for you soon loves. Lately all of my writing has gone here: www.clandestineindustries.com - not a new band. Not a clothing company. It will all make sense soon.
- petey
this is you: www.xfightx.com
- petey
2/23/2004 - 4:57 AM EST
call me out. i won't let you down. chicago show was amazing. no words to explain. me and a couple friends have been working on something cool lately, let me give you a hint its not a band or a clothing company. i think we'll unveil it soon. anway, all i have been listening to is: the grey album and a new demo song from this really good band whose acronym is kinda like turner broadcast systems- it is brilliant."this glasshouse is your coffin"
- petey
2/19/2004 - 3:02 AM EST
Its so much better and worse than you'd ever think. Write one to make my heart and lungs slow down. Wrote the best one ever least night, I hope you get to read it one day. Saw the triplets of bellivelle- they have captured a feeling. Then I went out and spent 130 dollars on a transformer (I am going to hell). The new somegilrs record is the only noise that drowns out my headaches. There are cobwebs on the zippers of all my jeans (why don't you give a fuck). Wring me out of this drought. Tour is amazing. It is uneventful but heartfelt. It is surreal to watch the kids surge and yell back words, but it is has made me fall in love with them. I am sorry this reads so jumbled. But that is how it goes inside my head. Hope to see your brilliant smile soon. This is how it feels to be homeless. I am a gypsy only without the gold and curses."Tell the world to leave me the fuck alone. Ie, world please find me a home."
- petey
2/16/2004 - 2:54 AM EST
Sometimes if you think hard enough don't you think you could will somebody into emailing you.Ill be waitingWe wrote some new songs. One is gonna be called: ima get all tore up tonight.Think about it. Lets fall in love.
- petey
2/11/2004 - 7:44 PM EST
A day in the life: andy calls wakes us up in the hotel. Stumble out the door and into the van for more sleep. Phone will not stop ringing for interviews and I miss you mores. Drive until the hunger outweighs the disgust of the food that will fill it. Tell jokes and fight in between sleep and watching dvds. Get to the club, (avoid) load stuff on stage. Make phonecalls home and try to not show my mom how much I am missing her. Play, each show has been amazing and different. Call up hey chris and tell him he is a dick for sitting at home instead of hanging out with me. Write. Stuff you'll probably never get to see. Work on the new songs with patrick. Eat. Go to hotel. Shower if I am feeling too much like a vagrant. Play atari. Fall asleep. Repeat.
- petey
2/10/2004 - 2:07 AM EST
sometimes I wish it never even began.My name is pete. I play in fall out boy. I am writing this from milemarker 99 on the I-5. I am not sure what I am supposed to write in here (but even writers block couldn't touch me). This is the place where I will whine and complain. Polish my ego. State my opinions as fact. Do grudge maintinence. Tell you about how I wish you knew what it was like to fall asleep next to your big eyes. This is where I will take my bad day out on you. and let you swing with my moods. Let out a couple secrets and then try to take them back. I am sorry my sarcasm doesn't translate that well on the computer screen (you can download a new program to help you if you are having problems and have windows 98 or better called: I don't care).Also, maybe ill let you know some stuff about fall out boy and what we've ben up to.Ill leave you with what I've been listening to lately:The academy "the author"Unbroken "lifeloveregret"The cure "b-sides"June "demo"The terror "demo"Nightmare of you "demo"Some girls "all my friends are going death"Sometimes it feels like I'd die with out all the attention.Pickupthephone. Tellmehowitgoes. Fallasleep. Dontdreamofthis. Crashyourcar. Tellthedoctorstomailmetheblood.See you soon. Peter
- petey

1 comment:

  1. hi pete.
    little late for a reply.
    but nonetheless, how are you?

    ReplyDelete